Are you a reciprocator??
This is not going to be a long one...or so I say, but something has been on my chest for a while now and I think it is time to cough it up......."koff-koff-koff"
Back in college, a batchmate said something to me one day as we sat in the small auditorium.
"You know, you don't have much tolerance for people who do not follow protocol."
Those were his exact words to me.
My friend said this after observing my reaction to another person who decided to stretch across me in order to pass something to someone. Culturally, not only was this inappropriate but it was made worse as I was eating at the time. Something worth noting - you do not stretch across a person, especially across their food. Ask any Jamaican; they will tell you.
Even here in Japan, it is done without thought. Persons will even step over you or your legs rather than say excuse me, please; not something that I like very much and something that I was taught not to do. But my response here is not very evident as I just brush it off as ignorance; they do not know better.
That statement that was made by my friend has not left me since then and I remember it every now and then. Such utterance made me stop and think about the type of person that I am; I had already known but this confirmed it. As persons would say, "You are not one to put up with the Joneses - You are not one to put up with foolishness." Persons may take that to mean that I am stiff-necked or I am unkind but indeed it is not so.
In fact, I am a person who believes in kindness and treating persons how you would want to be treated. In other words, reciprocation is a big part of my everyday life. Do not do to me what you wouldn't want me to do to you. This now brings me to the "cold" that has been sitting on my chest.
Steemit has a reputation of "I be nice to you; you be nice to me." and I am allllll for that. But no, it does not mean that I should only be nice to you because I want you to be nice to me. That should come naturally but what I have come to realise is that reciprocation does not come naturally for some persons as some persons are just here for what they can get and that is it.
I am not trying to get all Biblical here but do you remember the story in which Jesus healed the ten lepers? Do you remember what happened thereafter?
When one of them saw that he was healed, he came back. He praised God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked Him. - Luke 17:15
Out of the ten persons who were healed, ONLY one came back to show appreciation.
The bottom line is, if someone does something nice for you, both with and without you asking them to, it is only reasonable that you reciprocate the act by showing some form of appreciation. This is where my lack of tolerance for persons who do not follow protocol comes in.
None of us owe anyone here on Steemit anything but there are a few of us who don't mind giving of ourselves. Some of these persons will not say what I am about to say but that is why I am here; this is the reason for this post - be that one person who comes back and shows some appreciation for acts of kindness that has been handed out to you.
You may even be helping yourself in the long run as appreciation is usually rewarded with more kindness. Think about it for a second. Plus, it serves as a booster for the giver; the giver feels appreciated and hence is encouraged to give even more.
Yeah, okay, that was longer than I had initially planned, but you get the point, lol.
You are greatly appreciated.
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Great advice. I'm pretty much the same way.I try to live by the same rules. Treating others as I want to be treated. The hard lesson to learn is people will only do what benefits them most of the time. It's becoming harder to find people of this nature. I think that's why sometimes my replies get a little wordy. To me having a conversation about incidents such as this creates a dialogue. When you have a dialogue, change can occur.
Occasionally I'll get a little sarcasting and get lippy when something like this happens. "Why excuse me for being in your way." As I get plowed over. Old habits die hard.
Thanks @tryskele....dont worry about getting wordy as that shows that you are "real" and people, well some, will appreciate you for it.....as long as you dont allow the habit to kill you, I am fine with it lol