STORY TIME

2014 Is a year I'll never forget.

To set the scene:

My wife and I had just moved into a shoebox apartment in a seedy part of town. It was our first place; barely 600 square feet and consisted of a bedroom, a living room, a tiny kitchen and tiny bathroom.

It wasn't much, however, let's just say the price was worth it. 👌

We were young and eager. 😎
We both had fulltime jobs 🤝
We had money ✔ but no savings ❎

It didn't matter because we were determined to make it.

HOWEVER Determination or not, reality has a way of laughing at your plans and tearing them to shreds.

Things got tight for a while.

Suffice to say one of us needed to get a second job, there was not debating reality.

I saw an add online, it raised my eyebrows but Caroline gave the 'all clear' 👌

😫 So I took the plunge.

The Second Job

Can you guess what job it was?

Can you guess why I needed to seek my wife's approval?

Here's a hint.

It was a Hotel Resort - no surprises there.

Here's another hint.

What else falls into the 'Resort' category but with a second (and vastly more important) identifier?

.... still not getting it?

Does the term, "Lifestyle Resort" mean anything to you?

Because to me it means naked people.😖

Dozens and dozens of naked people. 😒

Including staff. Including the owners. Including the woman who interviewed me - all naked.

Do you have what it takes to maintain eye contact in a 1 on 1 interview with your naked (potential) boss?

Because up until that very moment, I had no idea. Pretty sure I didn't blink.

Pretty sure this was my expression the entire time.

Oh dear god

If that wasn't awkward enough, let me tell you about the second day on the job.

The Second Day

SO.

Being among naked coworkers was an adjustment, thankfully you become immune to the shock fairly quickly - or at least I did. 🧐

I thought my first day had prepared me for everything. Heck, I was even approached by a topless lady bringing a tray of fruit to the front desk.

"The guests here are so nice!" 😁

I say as I desperately maintain eye contact.

"Oh no I work in the cafe"

"Oh so you work here?" 😅

"Yes! I'm ...... nice to meet you."

At this point I thought I was an expert at talking to naked people 🤔

I WAS WRONG

SO VERY WRONG

The next day I clock in.

"The time has come, Simon!"

"Time for what?"

I ask as my director walks into the lobby.

"This happens to everyone at least once, and today is your lucky day! Think of this as a rite of passage"

I took a step back. He (my boss) points toward the pool area.

"Remember that girl we checked in about 10 minutes ago?"

I nod.

"You can be clothed anywhere on property EXCEPT when swimming in the pool, which is exactly what she's doing, but in a bathing suit."

My stomach drops. 🤮
I knew what was coming.

"You have to go out there and ask her to remove her bathing suit and don't leave until she does."

Uuuuh, come again? 😅

He just grins at me.

"Go out there and remind her of the clothing policy. "

🤣 Ooohkay, sure thing buddy, why dont I just arrest myself for harassment while I'm at it? He's got to be joking. I thought

He wasn't. He was as serious as a heart attack.

This is when I started freaking out... internally.

I knew everyone was watching me. Testing me. Seeing if I have what it takes to survive in that environment.

So I said a quiet goodbye to my lunch and went to the bathroom to vomit it all up again.

I washed my face and approached the pool, and there she was - in a blue 2 piece. She looked more nervous than me, which I Highly doubt.

What would you do if that 👆 face asked you to get naked?

On second thought, no, don't answer that 😤

I give her credit for not calling the cops, which is what anyone should do in that situation.

Thankfully this lady was sent down by God or something, because she hardly batted an eye.

I mean, she hesitated and looked to her friends for confirmation, but she didn't object.

So there I stood, silent and creeping on this 21 year old disrobing before me on her birthday! 😫

Meanwhilewhile the office staff were roaring with laughter. 🤨

Me? Dropping dead couldn't stop the embarrassment I felt, it would chase me a the way to hell and continue to torment me there.

Thankfully before I knew it the encounter was over, the bathing suit was set beside the pool - and I had earned my stripes.

😤

I nearly quit right then and there.

I never knew a hotel job would put me face to face with something that uncomfortable.

I felt like the naked one.

THANK YOU FOR READING

I have a bunch of crazy stories to tell, so if you want to read / watch, please be sure to follow

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Have a great one, and remember -

Stay Spicy 🌶

~ Simon.

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