Baby Steps Forward- Not back
Good evening Steemians,
After an aching long homework marathon I somehow was able to complete all my assignments before Sunday at midnight, for better or for worse. It's far better than not turning in anything at all by the deadline. This semester has been an epic endurance race for the whole month. After working an eight hour shift at work take out the homework and work for another four to seven hours and before I realize it's already 2am and I need to get up at 6am to start again. I'm certainly not doing good things to my health and doctors are scolding me for it. I wish I could say it's worth it, I certainly don't want to fail or disappoint. I want to inspire my family and friends, even my peers. However, giving so much effort just to get by feels disappointing to me. Even with the horrible stresses at work, it's hard to feel accomplished and proud of my duties. So often I feel like I'm just getting by, so many things I barely understand and the kingdom is falling around me. Maybe once upon a time I could have handled it all with enough staff or time to figure out the issues. Now I just feel incompetent and so helpless while being spread so thin.
...Still, given all the stresses I'm glad I'm striving for more and going back to school for something greater. It's really refreshing going to university and seeing bright kind spirits. People happy to listen to you or collaborate with you. Reach out if there is uncertainty. I'm very happy to see such diversity in a university and we're all reaching for the same goal, almost a kinship. I hope to grow and renew myself during these trials. I want to be happy with myself and I want to be proud that I endured it all without tumbling over. One day I'll finish, maybe going a bit slower so I'm not killing myself.
From this weekend I've only had two hours to spare before everything was due. I wish I had a week off from everything to unwind. Maybe have some fun.. made me a bit sad today my dad came by to visit after months of not seeing him and I was so buried in the books to talk to him except to wish him well. Missing these opportunities is hard. I can imagine even more so if you're the parent.
I wish to remind my fellow Steemians, remember to enjoy life. Hold tightly the relationships you have.make endearing memories with your friends and family. We're only here for a short while. Remember to express how important they are to you. Maybe there won't be a tomorrow but at least we would have enjoyed today.
Margaritas and smores chocolate cake from Chillies,
🍸cheers my friends🥂💕
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Study study school's your buddy...
I remember one of my best friends back in college named Monica. She and I decided to take our flash cards with us and go rollerskating the night before the final. We had so much fun rolling around laughing at each other saying "oh, you ran over my corocobrachialis," or "shut up or I'll brachiaradialis over your capitus, amigdala head".... Needless to say we both aced the final and woo-hoo for that. So much for human anatomy. Med students were dropping like flies in that class, we went rollerskating, those were the days.
That does sound wonderful ^o^ I have yet to find a study companion yet. most of the time my classmates want to go home after class. I don't blame them, time is always fleeting. Since my field is computer science related i should check out the STEM building and hangout and see who I could meet, maybe someone taking similar classes or maybe a survivor that's further ahead me ^0^ perhaps I can show them the way of Crypto.
When I uploaded this post I had just submitted my research paper, I was soo nervous how it would turn out. Prof posted grades a moment ago and I was ecstatic to get a perfect score \^0^/ wish I had similar luck in my other class
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