Day 7 on Steemit – Would You Blend a Happy Meal?

in #blog6 years ago

Adults-Can-Order-Happy-Meals.jpg

 

Yesterday my wife began taking antibiotics, but her lockjaw actually seems worse. She now has tiny sores all over her body and she looks bloated. To make matters worse she is now refusing to take her antibiotics, so I’ve been sneaking them in the blender with her Happy Meals.

Lucky for her, my buddy had some sunburn lotion with aloe in his truck, so I’ve been up all night applying it every two hours. The previous tenant was evicted and all his crap is in the shed, so if the lotion doesn’t work I’ll dig through it, I could swear I saw some jock itch cream in there.

I still can’t get over blending Happy Meals.

Why can't she drink soup like a normal person? Her bad attitude is driving me crazy and she won’t listen to anything! She just growls at me with those little bits of food stuck in her teeth. It's revolting!

God, I’m tired!

I’ve literally been up for over 24 hours dealing with this mess, so I haven’t had the time or energy to argue with her or all the idiots that keep harassing me on chat. I know they’re still there, but I’m just too depressed to read their hate right now.

Ugh…

Sometimes I think about giving up, I’m ashamed to admit it, but I do.

Just because I am the best writer on Steemit doesn’t mean that my life is perfect, so I can’t imagine why so many of you are so jealous of me. I know on paper, my life might sound like a bed of roses, but what you might not know is that I’m stuggling too.

So next time, when you think about flagging me out of jealousy, instead try pulling your head out of your ass and click the vote button.

Anyways, my wife’s been grunting for me for the last five minutes, so it looks like I have to go slather more lotion on her sores.

This sucks!

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I am so sorry for what is happening in your life. This is life, I guess. With that, I give you a little bit of upvote!

I am on the edge of my luxurious heated toilet seat to see what will happen to your wife's lockjaw.

I hate you so much right now!

Legendary writer strikes again with his hilarious cure for an allergic reaction to antibiotics:

The previous tenant was evicted and all his crap is in the shed, so if the lotion doesn’t work I’ll dig through it, I could swear I saw some jock itch cream in there.

Keep up with the fun, @legendary-writer because Steemit has to catch up eventually!

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