Dispelling urban myths and annoying the narcissists...oh, and comedyopenmic#13

The most boring people on earth...and very possibly the most narcissistic to....

I give my opinion a little tongue in cheek of course - for it does not mean everyone that dives.... just a very big proportion of them...

And I have met hundreds - if not thousands - of divers...(phew, it's all over now).

You see, I was part owner of a dive school (for a short time) many years ago.
I have tried diving myself, of course. (it would be foolish to not take advantage of free diving, right?)

So I did try it.

Twice.

And never again.

Scared?- Yes, very! - but only of a fear of falling asleep underwater – it had nothing to do with oxygen deprivation.

Why? You might well ask.
Because it is so goddamn boring, that's why. If this gets your adrenaline going, knock yourself out.
(please do in fact - to avoid further stories in the bar that night to non divers, about 'how amazing it is, you have no idea.....man ')
....If this gets your adrenaline really pumping, you haven't had much of an exciting life, is all I can say..

So here is my scathing, sarcastic take on the narcissist (boring) scuba diver...

Scuba Diver says:
“It is more than just a recreational activity, its a lifestyle - it's another world. It's almost spiritual ."

Patriot says:
Well, unless you qualify to becoming a Divemaster (or other such similar qualifications available), it IS purely recreational - and nothing more.
All the dread locks, and tie dyed T- shirts in the world doesn't change this reality. Reality is not the friend of the scuba diver.
Or the narcissist.

And no matter how man times you say it to gullible teenage girls - every night in the bar- you're still a tourist. A punter.
As for being spiritual?....Only if you keep paying for it.
Without renting or buying expensive equipment for your 'oh so' spiritual journey - it will quickly become just drowning.

This 'exclusivity' of course, is loved by the boring narcissist. It gives them a self aggrandizing podium to stand upon.
One that they seldom feel they legitimately really have.
One that very few people will ever challenge them about..

They become truly cool, truly adored, truly worshiped. Truly narcissistic....

Because it's so alien to most other people (non divers), it becomes something that they can own. They become the all knowing ones – for a change.
The narcissist swallows the adoration.
...In much the same way as they do with saltwater, when their regulator comes out of their mouths..

Scuba Diver says:
“ You choose your own adventure.”

Patriot says:
They just don't mention the other 50 or divers next to you, also choosing their own adventures....
The fish do start to exhibit overcrowding behavior in these 'unique' dive sites - all down to the sheer amount of divers there. - all there on their 'unique' experience...

Scuba Diver says:
“It's a magical place and scuba diving gives you a whole new dimension to life.”

Patriot says:
It's not magical, no more than any other part of nature are. It's nature.
And of course it's a different dimension!
An under -bloody -water dimension - what would you expect to see? Camels?

Scuba Diver says:
"If you haven't dived, you haven't lived."

Patriot says:
If you have never lived, you will love scuba diving...

Scuba Diver says:
“Weightlessness is just amazing. It's like nothing else.”

Patriot says:
Having a crap is like nothing else, but it's not amazing.
The only thing making this amazing, is it's novelty.( which can last a whole 30 minutes or so- if you're lucky).

If you continue to find it amazing after that, I'm very happy for you. Really. I am.
But for those with higher IQ's than the anemone's you are looking at - your attention will not be held for too long by 'another fish'

Scuba Diver says:
“Breathing underwater is such an amazing feeling!”

Patriot says:
See above answer – the same applies, but to a lesser degree.

Scuba Diver says:
“ I could probably keep doing this for the rest of my life without getting bored.”

Patriot says:
I'm very happy for you, that such small things can hold your attention. Really.
I also do a line in baby mobile's for hanging above cots, that you might also be interested in.

Scuba Diver says:
“Underwater is the only place where I can find true peace within myself”

Patriot says:
Of course this is very true for the real narcissist.
No one to talk to to, to find your secrets out.
You can let your guard down at last – It's so tiring...you are brilliant in what you are doing, and it makes people look up to you.
(Normally in some bar at night, in a drunken haze..)

A Boring narcissists heaven....

I nominate @bobaphet and @shaungerow as these were the first who I came across - (I'm not sure about this nominating thingy malarky...)