Looking forward to D-Day...

The days countdown whether I like it, or you like, or Steem likes it..

My two year journey on steemit will be have reached it's destination, as I planned it to be, 2 years ago.

D-Day, the 6th June..

I find myself on a different train though - Not the same one on which I started this journey.

Living on Steemit has taught me many things, and the knowledge that I'll take going forwards after the 6th June - whatever that may turn out to be - will always be with a sense of gratitude to the steem ecosystem.
Gratitude is not fealty.

All thing change, it's the one constant thing in life, and no one is immune to it. Including me, you...or steem.

What then, has Steemit taught me so far?

Firstly, that my retirement from fighting out in the big bad world was a little..... premature.
Up until my 'retirement' my fighting was in the cut and thrust of my own businesses.
But the fight - or the energy for the fight - had fucked off and left me....which I didn't mind at all.

I mistakenly saw that as 'no fight left' rather than just the boredom of being materially successful.
i.e. I grew up.

I came to steemit with absolutely no intention of picking up any kind of sword.

I came here to write about my travels (and travails) and my life experiences - which I judge to be far from the norm, and may offer something of interest to others.

I do not say this from hubris, but from the (literally) hundreds of people who know of my life and have told me to 'write a book'.
(Including two well know authors, and very well know journalist - if that lends any credence to my own opinions..?)
I have a great story.

Steemit offered me that opportunity to do just that, and to improve my writing skills along the way.
(yeah, I know - still sadly lacking).

I also came to write about politics , history, and philosophy - things that I've have taken a great interest in for many years, and in my opinion, has a great value to offer to people.

This was my entire intention when I first joined steemit. (It's not hard to verify - just look at my first posts).

@whatsup's recent posts with those two statements really jolted me out of my steem induced torpor. Like you wouldn't imagine.

but I have no idea who you think you are fighting
....and what you are trying to win.

Why so?
Because she is absolutely correct to have no idea! Why would she? When I have no clue myself anymore, when I'd lost sight of it myself?
While I knew what I was fighting, (there is no 'who') I failed to see that the arena I was in, was the wrong one.
What I am trying to win is glaringly obvious to those with the same perspectives as myself.
To those that don't see, it is a blindness.
A blindness from what?
Well, that's what I've been fighting. Just as @whatsup stripped the blinkers from my own eyes, intentionally or otherwise - I have attempting to do the same here. Durrr. Stoopid. There's a very good reason why it's stoopid.
I'll get to that later on..

Here is an excerpt from the ongoing chat I'm having with @whatsup - the full thing is on my post here if you wish to see the full conversation.

This explains to some degree, the blindness that some people have and why trying to give them the tools to see, is an exercise in futility, for various reasons.
But it is not a waste of time, if it can be applied in other ways. If knowledge garnered from talking to 'the blind', can be of use elsewhere.....That could have real value.
And that's what I'm gonna be doing.
So before I continue my post, here's a snapshot, to (hopefully) illustrate my position clearer.

The beginning of @whatsup comment.....
You will not stop arguing, it has been a lifetime goal..

My response to that specific point...
The one person that said to me, over and over, 'you will not stop arguing' was my grandad. He said it a lot.
Why?
Because he was a total, and utter cunt, that's why.
And do you know why he said it to me? (soooo many times).
I refused to back down at him and his ignorant attempts to tell me a truth, that wasn't a truth. Lies.
He was trying to pose BS as reality.
He was trying to gaslight me.
He was a total cunt.
I was a child of around 7 or 8 years old when the attempted gas lighting started, if I remember correctly.
'you will not stop arguing', The cunt kept saying to me..
My psycho family stood around, looking awkwardly at each other, and not knowing what the hell to do.
Such cowards.
I wouldn't back down when I was just 7 or 8 years old, and was surrounded by 5 adults, all glaring in anger at me.
( wishing that I would just shut..the..fuck.. up.)
I rejoiced when that fucker died.
And that is the person I remember last saying 'you will not stop arguing'....
He was a cunt.
It's funny isn't it?
Value is so subjective.
....If I could make my cat healthy by selling the entire steem ecosystem for a dollar to zuckerberg, I would.
Ethics are a great price discovery mechanism for those with a soul.

...while the point about steemit an' zuckers may not be strictly true, ( I was going for the drama tokens! lol) the point I make is the point, and illustrates the difference as I see it, between the different camps of ethical perspectives and logic.

Which brings me back to my journey once more.....
She is correct - I will not sit back and shut up if I see something wrong, when applying my own ethical standards as a template (ethical standards that ally to universally preferable behavior UPB).

And unfortunately, or fortunately - this is where my Steemit journey took a very unintended detour...

Intended or not, this is now part of the journey I'm on...
Part of that 'change of journey' involved debate and discourse with several people on here over the months and year(?)

It was @whatups two statements above, that shifted my focus. I had been lulled into the wrong focus..

I cannot change the system from within. It is a fucked, and is a corrupt system - in my opinion.

My opinion is worth jack shit here.

BUT - I think my opinions have value.

To use the rewards from the steemit ecosytem - to then try and apply them as the metric of contnet worth , goes to show some things quite clearly.

Quite disturbing things, if you follow the logic through...

It could be that my opinions are worth exactly as the rewards reflect...(_ within_ the steemit ecosystem).
The only way you (I) can know any different -is to be able judge it more objectively - and mans to be outside of the incestuous steemit ecosystem.
Let it be so.
I've learned from being here (as most of us have) that the reward system is NOT based around any value of content, but stake size.
Which is fine if you are an advocate of the system in place at the moment.
But computer algorithms cannot detect human subjective quality of content. (even context).
Only stake size.

This being the case ....

....then why the fuck would you use this as any type of metric, as to be a reflection of the value of your own posts?
It's so twisted a logic, as to be utterly insane...

STEEMIT GASLIGHTING, YOU COULD SAY....(I know a bit about that, from my grandad)

It could actually be seen as a psi-op by postmodernist losers who, lacking talent themselves - wish to drag people down by continually not attributing values to great content producers.

While at the very same time, let them see that total bullshit content - is worth something.
(no- I'm not including myself in these ranks of 'great content producers' - but people like @krnel or @mepatriot, @shepz1 @frot and a hundred others...)

By the logical algorithms applied in Steemit, it all makes sense. It doesn't make it right though.
....again the problem arises, as computers have no concept of right or wrong, just logic.

PSI-OP, anyone...?
Think about it.....When value becomes valueless, and BS becomes worth something....up is down, left is right, and postmodernism rules the roost...

Again, I have @whatsup to thank for allowing me through her words , to see how I fell into this trap of delusion and false reality. Yuk...

It's a trap that can be avoided . And I can help in that. It would be my pleasure.(sounds of picking up a sword...)

.....Slowly, over time - my self confidence in my own writing came into question. (relative to my own ability, and not in comparison to anyone. I'm well aware of my shortcomings in that reagard..).

If it happened to me, then has it happened to other budding writers?
....Content producers who did have value, but were convinced otherwise by the psi-op rewards system at play here?
Writers who's would post far better stuff than I ever did ...
....Did they just get fucked off, and leave, depressed and convinced that they were no good?
Why?
Becuase the value sytem is fucked when you do not bring the human element into it..
(ethics are great price discovery mechanism for establishing a value system).

As with all applications of postmodernism entering the real world - the only effects are mental confusion, and negativity.

Hence my gratitude to @whatsup...

(Gratitude an fealty are not the same).

Snapped out of what can only be called my fugue, she's also given me new tools (weapons), with which to keep fighting...

In my opinion...

The whole steemit ecosystem is infected with postmodernist bullshitters who are in places of responsibility.

That's a guaranteed recipe of failure for any ecosystem.

The first thing that cames to mind, to illustrate this...

Hello Steemians, I’m @andrarchy, the new Head of Communications and Advocacy for Steemit, Inc.
....In fact, I believe that there is arguably no more important skill in life than the ability to tell stories that capture people’s attention and makes them excited about what you are trying to do to make things better.

If that is the the perspective of an individual near the top of a company -based in finance and currency.. - 'that telling stories is one of the most important skills in life'.....well.... do I really need to continue?
.... Houston, I think we have problem....

(Note: postmodernism in the arts is a fantastic tool. A brilliant one! But not when it's being applied into the real world)

I do not expect willfully blind people (for whatever reason or motivation) - to see what I - and many others, see hear.
I will not even try to convince them otherwise.
I've learned my lessons well.
I might mock them to oblivion however - but for my own reasons and not from a perverse enjoyment in seeing lefties melt. (God no, perish the thought...). Garner, and garner.... then garner some more.

My objective since the change of my journey has been consistent all along - but my target was waaaaay off from where it should have been. Light years away from over the drop zone...

Now it's time to spread the wings, and see how my estimation of my value holds up in the real world, and not the depressing mental head fuck environment, that is steemit.
No fear, here.

This isn't an ego trip, this is me getting myself back. Back from the netherworld that steemit encourages you to inhabit.. and where false realities become the norm...

Yeah....Fuck that - I'm back.
(I wonder if my fun posts and stories from here on in, will start getting lots more upvote, because of the change in my perspective....mmmm....)

It's funny, isn't it?...
I posted a 'poker post' a while back ... and it never really took off (my plan, for pure math reasons couldn't work out. Not for another couple of months at least.... D-day, maybe?)

The game of poker - after knowing the math pretty much without having to think about it - is all about you're own mental attitude.
This morning (I only ever play 'seriously' within the first 4 hours of waking up)
....I went on the tables.
Now I've disconnected from the steemit psi -op, I found myself in a totally different mood than over these past few months.....
(did I say thanks to @whatsup?, I can't remember. lol)

I cleared $132.25 , before I left the tables. (normally its around $15/18)
Luck? Of course it plays some part.
But you also make your own luck in that game - and I've been making my own luck all my life, one way or another - and that has to start with having a clear head.

'Clear headed' and steemit ecosystem cannot be synonymous - not if you have any kind of ethical standard code going on.
Mental confusion and negativity....

You either have ethical codes and value them, or you don't.

You can't be just 'a little bit pregnant'. There is no fence to sit on. (cowardly politicians will try and tell you that a fence exists. If you choose to believe stupidy dressed up words as clever ones - that's on you..)

It's gonna be an interesting 6th June for me, that's for sure.
And maybe not just for me...

D-DAY +70 (ish)