You had me at Eliot. 🤣😂 I frickin love the Magicians. But yes I also agree with a lot you said, I think most people do have something messed up about their past. I know I do! I never really had an issue with drinking, but my dad died from alcoholism. I became a non drinker. For many reasons, but mostly I saw a world that wouldn’t truly accept him unless he drank, and he shouldn’t have been drinking. Only pregnant people or ill people don’t drink and society pities them. I wanted to just be a person that doesn’t drink, not because I couldn’t but because IT IS A CHOICE. And that’s what I choose. I had to let go of my best friend over it, she continues the party life. When I go stalk her social media it hurts, it hurts because I can see she’s unhealthy, and I would guess having serious issues with drugs. I can’t save her I couldn’t convince her to come with me. Sheesh I feel like my comment is as long as your post, I will stop now.
You're comment isn't too long. I have the same experience on Facebook looking back at college and high school friends pages - those at least, whom aren't dead or in jail. It runs deep for me, especially because I've had so much influence over so many people as a person and as an artist. I feel at fault sometimes. I feel like a hypocrite sometimes.
I don't truly condemn anyone for addiction. I only judge in discernment. This from that. We all know when use becomes misuse. It goes from fun to escapism. It goes from a decision to hunger. We're self-medicating a problem that we created and enabled. It's not alcohol that's the problem.
The problem was ME.
I have the addictive personality. I am an addict, simply with new vices. I drink coffee. I have an unhealthy obsession with exercise. Lol.
I'm not 100% sober. I have a beer or cocktail at weddings and job functions now. It's been a over a decade since I stopped raving and partying every weekend (or weekday.) My doctors say drinking a glass of wine every night would be good for my heart and I try but it's just a slippery slope sometimes, so I avoid it even if my mood is slightly weakened. There's definitely a difference between drinking and drinking.
It takes years of sobriety, damn near a new lifetime, to reset the switch.
Sober to me means, I'm not waking up at 6am to catch the packy before it opens. I'm not spending rent on pills. My priorities are straight. I'm not lying, stealing, etc. It's when you find comfort in sobriety again and your personal compass recalibrates. It's when you can be a contribution the broader society again.
And I feel you exactly, and it's okay to be that person that just doesn't get f-cked up all the time. It doesn't mean you look down on anyone. You can be the designated driver making sure everyone else get's home okay, and that's fine. :)
I never mind being the one to keep an eye on my friend's kids so they can go out dancing. When I show up, I burden the jokes and pity like a good sport. But for the most part, we've gone separate ways. I don't see anything harmful about microdosing CBD or THC to help with anxiety or pain— that's use. Misuse is when we medicate the pain of self-shame and self-pity.
This post wasn't so much about drugs and alcohol, although I know it's the narrative and framework. I could never judge the junkie, I was one sort of, I'm still wired that way. The moral is really that when we change our lifestyles, our social circles change too. And our social circles can sometimes be our thorn.
Proximity is power.
Comment as much as you like... this is like THERAPY right now hahahahaha
Yes I think that once you look down on people you’re in just as in an unhealthy mindset as someone using to self medicate away their pain. Super curious, you feel like it’s a slippery slope for you and described yourself as ‘wired that way’ and I came across some info about sugar addiction and it’s connection to alcoholism. I talked briefly to my dad about it before he passed away, and for him personally he had a huge sweet tooth. I’ve always wondered if other people who felt that alcohol was their archilles heel also had sugars cravings.
I don't eat white sugar or refined flour products. I do eat bakery sweets once in a rare while. But it's not part of my regular diet. So not me. I've never been a carb queen- unless we're talking salads.
To explain what I mean by wired, this is a good article -- link is safe.
It can explain it better than I ever can. And predisposition is another factor. Vices, like talents, are passed down from parents to children through epigenetics. Here is a study on it. also safe, .gov site. And another gov site
Basically, addiction has a different reward wiring. And we can be born with the wiring, or develop it through addictive behaviors. In my case, both.
Hmmm I find the topic interesting so thanks for the links 😊