5 ways to adjust teen behavior

Adolescence scares almost all parents. It is at this time that one of the crises comes, when the vector of human development changes dramatically. It depends on how positively a teenager overcomes whether the future adult personality will be formed correctly. Psychologist Natalya Poletaeva tells how parents help a child survive a transitional age.

When a child stops obeying, is rude and arguing, close people start to wonder: “What happened to a cute child, how to fix everything and return our angel?” In fact, the desire to be independent, a heightened sense of property, jealousy, devaluation of adults, mood swings - absolutely normal and regular development of events. One can even say that too obedient, tied to parents, a teenager trying to fall into childhood is a deviation.

But how to survive this period? How to adjust the behavior of the child, or is it worth leaving everything as it is? The answer to this question lies in well-built communication. In other words, correctly communicating with a teenager, you will avoid many problems of puberty.

RULES OF SUCCESSFUL COMMUNICATION WITH A CHILD

There are a number of principles that should be followed when dealing with a teenager. Together they constitute a set of rules, the observance of which will strengthen relationships in the family and help the child to feel loved and understood. These recommendations will allow him to build a trusting communication with close adults, and thus protect against nonsense. The most terrible negative consequences of the negative passage of the crisis in the form of depression, alcoholism, drug addiction and relations with the “bad company” pass it by.

Rule number 1. The right habits

It is necessary to provide an atmosphere that will allow him to grow up not only psychologically, but also physically healthy. Children in this period are especially painful about their appearance, and it’s not just a desire to communicate with the opposite sex. Adults should understand that now their child is changing, it is growing at an incredible speed, hormones are raging, and the brain does not have time to analyze all this.

The task of parents is to explain what happens to the body at all levels. In parallel, create conditions for a daughter or son to feel as comfortable as possible in a new body. Proper nutrition, timely visits to doctors, and sports will come to the rescue. Of course, we must not forget that the teenager wants to be beautiful, and, for example, think about the wardrobe.

Rule number 2. Absolute, unconditional love

This is one of the most difficult principles, because it is very difficult to accept another (even your child) as it is, without reservation, criticism and complaints. Such a feeling for parents is fed by children up to the 4–5th grade. Then it is time to swap places. The personality that has developed by the adolescent period is the result of upbringing from birth to this moment. Another thing is that the result may not suit the parents. Here comes the work: you must forget your childhood traumas and complexes, become an example of a successful, happy person and just love.

Then the child will see an example who wants to imitate, will see in you a person you want to listen to, with whom you can consult and be friends.

Rule number 3. "I-message"

Most often, the child hears accusations in his address: "You do everything wrong," "You have a terrible temper," "You learn badly, you do not listen." Such communication brings only conflict. In a different way, the communication built on the “I-message” looks like. With its help, you can share experiences, talk about the results of actions so that the child himself wants to do what is right without reproaches and punishments. In the “I-message” it is important to thank for something good, to describe their own experiences on the topic of conflict, to explain the cause of the experiences and to complete the message by asking for it. This approach changes the color of communication between children and parents for the better.

Rule number 4. Support and hug

Remember the last time when you were thanked, gave you a compliment. Nice, isn't it? After all, it is important for self-esteem and mood. Adults should analyze their communication and count how many times a day they embrace children (at least 5 should be), say such phrases as “I understand” or “how can I help?” “What / how good are you!”. It is very important that the child feels the support of adults, and the relationship is thawed and warmer. At the same time, there can be any reason for encouragement - from choosing clothes to success in any field.

Rule number 5. Remember yourself

One psychologist said: "If you want to understand a client, you must visit his shoe." It really is. Parents need to know the interests of their children, spend time together, discuss friends and school. To build relationships, you can remember your adolescence, tell funny stories or experiences. It is worth thinking what can capture both of you, and use these "points of contact".

Once I was asked what I would call the main result in my life. Thinking, I said that these are moments and events that we remember with a smile on our face. I wish all parents, and especially parents of teenage children, as many memories as possible when they are smiling together. Remember: raising a child is, above all, educating yourself! The well-being of a child is worth all the efforts that were made to create warm and friendly relations and mutual understanding forever.