Unsatisfied

There you go again. You have that feeling again.

Emptiness. Unbearable emptiness. One that could drive you to the brink of your sanity. One that could make you scream from a deafening silence of this noisy world.

But who cares?

The world will never stop spinning. Maybe, it'll slow down a bit.

What will you do?

Nothing. Nothing would satiate you anyway. You just hope that it will pass just like how your mundane day will pass you by. You just wonder how you were still able to survive. You could never think of tomorrow without thinking of the same old thoughts. You're getting tired.

Have you tried?

Of course! You tried to zoom in and out of your field of vision. You tried to look at things in a different perspective. You tried to manage.

You really did try?

Yes! You tried. At least you tried. At least. That's all there is. That's all there will be.

You managed to find meaning in the dullness of your situation. You explored different possibilities. For the record, you forced yourself to find that single thing you looked for. Although there's still one question that's left unanswered.

Have you determined that thing you longed to find?

As the stars started to align in the sky, you also started to trace their path. Their path to oblivion. Their path to their own demise. You hoped that maybe, at the end of their path, you will find that brighest object you could ever have. Maybe, that's what you're looking for.

As the seas become rough, you geared to brave its depths. You confronted the abyss with thinking that maybe, just maybe, you can find the largest pearl in the world. One pearl that could satisfy your desire. Maybe, that's what you're longing to acquire. Maybe. You're not sure.

As the mountain started to shake, you started to sift every dirt, gravel, and stone. You are hoping to find that biggest nugget of gold. Maybe, that's what you're looking for. Maybe you will no longer long for more once you acquired that precious metal. Maybe, you're not sure.

You turned realms upside down. You travelled far and wide. You entered one dimension and exited to the other. You hoped to find something more.

Have you found what you're looking for?

You didn't and maybe, you wouldn't. Because that's you. You are never satisfied.

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_{Note: This piece is a result of a problematic and chaotic train-of-thought of the author. All photos were taken from pixabay.com and unsplash.com and edited through canva.com.}