Getting Rid of This Emotional Unrest?! [A Sign from God, or a Queen?]

eddieknocklife (58)in #breaking • 7 years ago (edited)

Dealbreaker Freakout

I can't deal with this anymore, dudes! Or, rather, I don't want to! I'm going celibate for fokin' 25 yeez' now, and that's about it for me, I feel. Dafuq does it meen' when der's konstent pehn' and suffering going on all the time?

Source

So, what I'm trying to say is I've been celibate for 25 years now and that it's very hard to take anymore of it at this point.

What can I do to easier deal with this stuff? How do I fix this now? What is it that I need to do to make this right?

There's a classic Catch-22 moment going on right for me: No people around, so the need for having people around is heavy, but in order to have people around, one must be oneself in order to really get to know people, for it is only your true character that can make friends; neediness and pain don't go home with people, so it's kind of like a trap.

"Whaddaya boyin'? Whaddaya sellin'!?"

Well, I'm kind of boyin' good people to have a great time with. Only... that can't be bought by SELLIN' (trading it for) emotional breakdowns and mental anguish, which is what I'm undergoing at this very moment in time, if you get the analogy that I'm trying to convey here. They don't want that and I don't want to give them that.