DARWIN, DONG SIZES, AND WOMENS RIGHTS.

For those who subscribe to Darwin's theory of evolution it is common knowledge that we are closely related at a genetic level to two primates. The chimp and the bonobo. Now what I've always found as slightly odd is the chimp is our close cousin we hear a lot about. This rather unpleasant fellow is known for some rather undesirable behaviors. I.e. cannibalism, rape, violently corralling it's females into groups when a male competitor is near, organizing into gangs and killing and eating any outsiders who approach, etc.... well I guess I can sort of see why we may call this fellow a close relation.

However we leave out the family member we are equally close to genetically for reasons unknown to me. The bonobo welcomes outsiders by initiating orgies, swings both ways on more than the branch, females often initiate sexual interaction with multiple partners, males and females are known to sing to the young to make them sleep even if they aren't their own...the list goes on and on in regards to the wonderful attributes of this primate. Oh, and interestingly for their body size they are said to large penises...

If we are to go with evolution then we accept that we as human beings are nothing more than slightly less hairy African apes. And out of all species of ape against our body sizes have larger penises than our primate cousins. For instance the Silver Back Gorilla has a rather small dong for it's body mass like the chimp, and like the chimp relies on force and size to secure females, chase off competition, and breed. ... Maybe King Kong was snatching Ann Darow simply because he wanted to be appreciated... who knows.

I recently was on the phone with a close friend who's an anthropologist when the topic I'm outlining in this post came up. Though she travels all over for work and all is about her job she can be random. A fun time gal basically which is why I love her. So over booze via Skype she tabled a potential correlation between human penis sizes and their variations being affected by cultural traditions in regards to the treatment of women. Of course my wine almost flew out of my mouth until I realized she was serious. So we referenced the international penis size data chart pictured below and admittedly had a hell of a chuckle.

So cultures that have had a strong tradition of roving hunting parties and limited traditions of storing their females away in the equivalent of a larder for later use do seem to have larger penises. Could this be due to the fact that when hunting parties were out a bit of naughty could happen on the down low? Ships and war parties have launched so time to swap fur blankets and get busy? Double to tripple rumpy pumpy in the night if you will? Now granted some of the countries listed that have favorable data (if you're a guy) do have traditions of treating women pretty horribly today. But what I'm aiming at here aren't changes in tradition over the past five centuries but rather cultural norms that have seen little change and existed for the better part of two thousand years or thereabouts.

If Darwin's theory holds true and we evolve and adapt in response to environmental pressures or the lack there of.... How long does it take the higher part of our lower selves to gain an inch or two?

Now of course all of this is wild speculation. I'm not indulging stereotypes here by simply presenting the data... I'm just having a laugh basically. But it's an interesting concept to play with. (LOL) It's a great argument for any feminist to make I suppose. I.e. "Give me rights and equality or your descendants will have small dicks!" That would be a fun debate to watch on the news..... though I don't think we will be seeing it on Fox anytime soon. But for those of you who are controlling males keep in mind that your descendants may not thank you for it. Relax. Take a page from the humble bonobos book if you need to. Just a thought.

Well folks that's it for now. I figured I'd do this write up and kick it out there for you guys to have fun with. As always thanks for taking the time to read. Looking forward to all your awesome content and as always keep on Steeming.

Image credits:
National Geographic
Express.co.uk
Seven Wanders Of the World
ToonPool
St. Austins Review