Treat your children how you would like to be treated

Treat your children as you yourself would like to be treated. Turn off your fears, name those emotions that they can not express, give them time, light their dreams and make them feel like what they are, the most valuable people in your world.

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It is curious as today, many mothers and fathers see the upbringing with a little fear. They read educational manuals, they are instructed in the latest theories and seek answers to every problem on the Internet or in those friends -parents or not- who rise up as authentic gurus in parenting issues. These parents forget in a way to hear something much more valuable than all this: their natural instinct.

A child does not want shouts or understand reproaches, your child deserves to be treated with the art of listening, patience and greatness of affection. Because children do not have to "tame" them you have to love them.

The instinct of a mother or the natural ability of a father to intuit the needs of their own children is undoubtedly the best strategy when it comes to educating them. Children come to the world with an innate goodness, so they deserve to be treated with respect to safeguard this nobility of heart, attending naturally and without fear every event that brings us the day to day.

We invite you to reflect on it.

A child should be treated with affection and without fear
There are mothers and fathers who are afraid of failing in their role as parents. They think that it can be a tragedy not being able to give them the best birthday party, not finding a place in the best school or not being able to buy them the same brand clothes that their friends wear at school. They aspire, in some way, to offer their children what they themselves did not have.

It is clear that everyone is free when choosing how to educate a child, but we often forget how children are and everything that happens inside them. We cling to thinking about everything we must offer them without first discovering what they really need: ourselves.

A child is not a miniature adult, he is a person who needs to understand the world through you and with your help.
A child acts always for needs and not for manipulation or malice like adults. We have to be intuitive about these demands.
A child must, above all, be treated with affection. Our children do not need branded clothes or electronic toys to play with alone. They need your time, your example, your hugs of good night and your hand to interlace to cross the street.

Self-regulated parenting: understanding and accompanying
Self-regulated upbringing is nourished directly by the attachment theories formulated in their day by the psychiatrist Wilhelm Reich. Now, today they are again topical because they extol a series of key concepts through which to connect much better with childhood, with their times, with their needs.

A mother is more effective than ever when she trusts her instinct, when she reads in her child's eyes what she really needs.

The interesting thing about this approach is that self-regulation is understood as a synonym of life, of the need to first make contact with our own personal complexity in order to understand that the child also has its needs, its own conflicts generated, sometimes, by a society that it does not include childhood or the infant.

Keys to self-regulated parenting
Self-regulated parenting tells us that a child who has been treated with respect in his childhood and who has also seen how his parents were respectful of all those around them, will be a respectful adult.

Now, but ... in what way do we achieve such an achievement? How does self-regulated parenting teach us to give happy adults to the world?

A child must feel understood and accompanied at all times. If the frustration appears, that creature stops feeling adapted, integrated.
You have to educate with a healthy attachment based on love and closeness. In this way, little by little, that child will feel safe to direct his steps toward independence.
The voice of a child must be heard at all times, because they too must be taken into account when they laugh and when they cry, when they demand or when they suggest.
Self-regulated parenting also tells us about times, about not starting intellectual learning until 7 years old, in order to promote a first time of discoveries through play.

The interaction with their environments through the five senses and relationships with their peers through joy, also offers us an interesting way to promote their psychosocial development. However, and whatever the approach with which we choose to raise our children, we must not forget something as simple as treating them with that certain and infallible magic formula: love.

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