The Test

James Chen and Alexander Nokoff were at their computers in their respective countries. James types, “What if we did the Operation HVAC thing to America?” Alexander replied, “Let’s go for it!”

A few minutes later the two twenty-somethings were hacking away at their keyboards.

“I’m set! What about you?” “Let’s go for it!”

There is a place in Central Virginia, about twenty miles east of Charlottesville that is the central HVAC control center for the school systems in the western part of Virginia.

“We’ve got a problem,” yelled Jim Coffey from the HVAC control center. Lights began to blink. Computers were turning on and off. A giant picture of Mickey Mouse appeared on the screens. Mickey said in his best Mickey Voice, “Hi there, boys and girls, let’s turn up the heat.”

Little Zack Sensabaugh was taking his fourth grade S.O.L. Social Studies test. He was a little stressed out because Social Studies was not his best subject. Sensibaugh’s are better at numbers than words. Zach noticed a drop of water coming from his forehead. It was dripping on the computer keyboard from his forehead.

“I think we’re in,” said James. “Let’s give them Donald Duck," said Alexander, while laughing his best Russian laugh. “We’ll teach these Americans a few things.

Meanwhile, Zach’s eyes begin to water. His teacher, Mrs. Cash, notices the room is getting warm. Little did she know that the HVAC system had been taken over by the Russians and Chinese.

The Superintendent of Schools picks up his phone and the secretary picks up on the other end. “Did somebody turn the A.C. off?” “I’ll check,” she replied.

Fifteen minutes later the text and switchboards were light up. A massive heat wave was sweeping through the schools. Test scores were dropping. Facebook rumors were rampant.

Ken Jones, of Ken Jones Heating and Plumbing came into the high school. He resets the computer. He calls HVAC Central. After a few busy signals, someone answers. Ken could hear the hysteria in the background. “We’ll get the situation under control soon,” said the person on the other end of the phone.

Ken, who had been the starting tight end on the high school football team, thought back to what his social studies had told him his senior year. “Maybe one day computers will be our downfall,” said his former government teacher, Mr. Findlay McClure.

Ken, went to work. He called 911 and let the authorities know what he though was going on. The next thing there are fire trucks pulling up to the elementary schools. Testing must go on, said the Principal. So the fire department got out their big fire hoses and began to sprinkle water on the roof of the school to try to cool things down.

Meanwhile, little Zach had about ten more questions to go. He was to be the last child in the system to finish the test that day. More first responders came to the school. More fire trucks. Farmers began to arrive pulling huge chicken house fans with their tractors.

American, and most importantly, S.O.L. testing was not going to be stopped by the Russians and Chinese.

By this time, the CIA, Homeland Security, and the Air Force had located the source of the hack. Jets were sent to China and Russian. The President said it couldn’t be Russians. It must just be the Chinese. The jets dropped thousands of gallons of Liquid Tide on both the homes of the hackers. Surely this would work.

A few minutes later, the AC came back on. Zach’s sweating went away.

America, the land of the free, was saved.