Confessions from a Holiday Camp - Gone to Pot

in #comedy6 years ago (edited)

'You've never smoked a joint?' he said as though I must have been living on Mars for the whole of my life. 'No mate. It never felt right. I've been waiting until I felt mature enough to benefit from it. You know, right time and right place,' I replied. 'Well if you fancy a go just let me know. I'll introduce you' he invited warmly.

Bob was older than me by nearly ten years. Being almost 30, I looked at him as though he had been there, seen it and done it all. He held down a senior position on the holiday camp, he had the respect of the management and most of the staff and I trusted him. He was no fool.

The scene on the holiday camp was like nothing I had ever experienced. Here, it seemed like people smoked joints from being in the pram. It really didn't do for me. I was far too sensible to take drugs when I was a child. I didn't need a health professional to tell me it was a bad idea. I knew it was a bad idea. I knew that developing brains should not be exposed to cannabis. I'd told myself when I was a young teenager that I would never touch drugs until it felt like the right thing to do for myself and certainly not until I'd stopped growing (myself that is...not plants).

I considered Bob's offer for a few days and it felt like the time had come to be introduced to the world of weed. So after work one night I wandered over to his room to pop the question. He seemed fine about it and was maybe even a little proud that I had chosen him to be my facilitator.

We sat on his bed as he rolled a joint. I watched carefully as he constructed it. He used a small piece of something that I learned was called hash. It wasn't a bunch of grass like I was expecting. He explained what it was and put me at ease as he rolled the spliff.

He lit the joint, smoked a little and handed it to me. Bob waited patiently as I had a few puffs before passing it back. 'Do you feel anything?' he asked as he puffed away. 'Not yet mate' I said as he passed the spliff back to me. We finished the joint and I told Bob that I still felt the same. 'It'll work in a while...you'll see' he said.

I thanked Bob and headed out for the evening. My plan was to go to the bar on the camp for a few pints and maybe a game of snooker. As I neared the bar I decided to head to the snooker room first to test the effects of this spliff I had smoked. I didn't really feel any different but thought that hitting a few snooker balls would be a good measurement. I'd played snooker since I was 10 years old so would know straight away if the spliff had any effects. I completed a frame on my own. It took nearly half an hour and my highest break was 14. I learned that the spliff had indeed affected me and I also learned that cannabis was not a performance enhancing drug.

After the test I spent the evening in the bar where I told no one about the joint and no one noticed anything different about me. It seemed that Bob had been kind to me with my first spliff. This was why I chose him for the job. Like I said, he was no fool.

I'd seen the state of Tommy and Daz over the course of the season who I knew were smoking and had smoked quite a lot of pot. I liked them but some things about them didn't really appeal to me. They were both from Devon and they were always having a laugh but they also always seemed to be a little troubled to go with it. Their work ethic was the opposite to mine. They saw themselves as slaves while I saw myself as a hard working young man on a mission of discovery. I didn't want my outlook to change.

You may find it strange then when I tell you that my next choice of smoking partners were Tommy and Daz. Thing is, I wanted to have a peek at life from their perspective. They were both intelligent and interesting characters. Like Bob, they had both been to Morocco and smoked the world famous Moroccan hashish. They were around the same age as me and they found me equally as interesting as I found them. I wanted to be like them in some ways but not in others. I wanted to go to the places they had been and do some of the things they had done but I also wanted to stay motivated enough to care about my appearance and work ethic.

Daz's room was small but he did have a superb sound system on which he had chosen to play an album called 'Dark Side of The Moon' by a band called Pink Floyd. I'd heard of Pink Floyd but knew nothing about them. Both Daz and Tommy were very excited at the prospect of introducing me to both Pink Floyd and to their homemade creation which they used to smoke their weed.

Tommy and Daz didn't roll joints, they used a glass beer bottle with a tube inserted into the bottle. A small bowl which they called a 'cone' was pushed into the top of the pipe. To smoke their weed they would stick the contents which they called their 'mix' into the cone before wrapping their hands around the bottle top to create a seal. They would then light the contents of the cone and suck through their hands in order to pull the smoke through the water contained in the bottle. They called this apparatus a 'bong'.

Daz was insistent that we should all smoke the bong and then relax to listen to 'The Dark Side of the Moon'. All of this seemed a little strange but rather exciting at the same time. I was intrigued as to why they were using this homemade piece of kit rather than just making a joint which was the method I was familiar with. I wanted to test the difference if any. I wasn't too excited about the music. Music wasn't really my thing. I didn't know much about it and had never really shown much interest in it.

I watched on as Tommy made a 'mix'. He broke up a cigarette into a bowl before crumbling some warmed hash into it. He then rubbed it in as though he was making scones. With the mix completed he then took the cone from the pipe and filled it in the bowl before popping it back into the top of the pipe. He then made a seal with his hand while he lit the mix in the cone. He sucked through his hand, slowly at first as the flame took hold of the mix and bubbles appeared in the water. As it burned I watched on as he started to suck harder and harder. The whole cone was emptied of it's content's in one long pull on the bong and Tommy pulled his mouth away from the bong as he exhaled the smoke. I had never seen anything like it. He fired a thick cloud of smoke across the room into the wall. I watched as the smoke cascaded up and down the wall. I was mesmerised.

Daz then did exactly the same thing in exactly the same way as Tommy had done it. And then came my turn. I knew what to do. I insisted on practising making the seal for a minute or so before taking my turn on the bong. Tommy took the cone and filled it for me. I noticed that he did everything exactly the same as he had done for himself. I figured that I would do my best to do everything exactly as they had done it too.

Daz lit the mix as I held my mouth to my sealed hand. I breathed out in readiness and then began to suck slowly as the mix was ignited. 'OK faster now Ian' Daz said as it took hold. I increased my pull rate and watched the mix burn away and Daz said 'Faster, faster.' I sped up once again and the mix disappeared from the cone. I pulled away from the bong and began to exhale into the wall as they had done. I watched on as the smoke billowed from my mouth. It was exactly the same as I had seen with Tommy and Daz. A thick plume of smoke cascaded once again along the wall. The smoke just kept coming and coming as before. I didn't think it was possible to see someone breathe out this much smoke, it seemed inhuman.

Before I could say anything Daz jumped up and hit the play button on his music system and we all lay back across Daz's bed with our heads propped up on pillows arranged along the wall. I was waiting for the bombardment of questions about what it was like and so on but this didn't happen. Instead Daz said 'You're gonna love this' as we relaxed in silence. Very soon I heard the sound of laughter and electronic music and I was to be taken away into another world for the next hour or so.

I didn't know music like this existed. I couldn't tell where one song ended and another one began. It was a continuous narrative. I narrative I couldn't understand but it was incredibly stimulating. I was totally relaxed. I don't think I had ever felt as peaceful and relaxed yet incredibly stimulated at the same time. It was a fantastic experience. I felt as though the music was entering my ears and massaging my brain. This music didn't make me want to dance, it made me want to think.

A couple of times during the album we smoked another bong each and I found I had no trouble with performing the act exactly as they did. I was a natural or so I was told. As I got more stoned my mind wondered momentarily to the snooker table as I estimated my possible high break in this state. I figured I would probably struggle to pot 2 balls in succession and made a mental note to test this theory at the next opportunity.

The previous night I wasn't sure whether or not I was stoned but here I was in no doubt whatsoever. It wasn't like being drunk. I had no aggression and I didn't want to dance or do much at all really. I just wanted to relax with my friends and enjoy the experience. It was a very strange feeling. It was like some parts of my brain had been switched off while other previously unknown parts of my brain were suddenly switched on. The feeling that the music gave me was something totally new to me and I felt I had gained an appreciation for music that had never previously existed. It was incredibly fulfilling and I had no anxiety whatsoever.

We listened to a few albums and smoked many bongs that night and one thing I did learn on that evening was that I would feel exactly the same after 3 bongs as I did after 10 bongs. I made a mental note of this for future reference.

My visits to the pub and to the holiday camp bar were to become less frequent from here on as I spent more time with my new friends from Devon. I would learn so much from these people and many others over the coming years. Indeed the young heartbroken man who arrived in Devon as a 19 yr old would soon be ancient history as this new, curious, adventurous young man appeared in his place.

Thanks for following my stories and adventures.

Until next time, may all your experiences of the moon be of the dark side.

STEEMONKEY

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Great story as usual. I have done these things with bongs before but with a different outcome. A coughing and wheezing @slobberchops was the result.

I really dont get on with smokey drugs. I love DSOTM, but havent listened to it while out of it.

Thanks pal. When I read your response I thought DSOTM was a drug like DMT. Had to read it again lol. I was lucky I think to have my first Floyd experience with my first proper pot experience. The two most certainly go hand in hand and I would most definitely recommend a bash :)

Cool! Thanks for sharing your experiences, it's very fun to read and easy to relate to. Sounds like you learned quite a few new things on that holiday camp :D

Thanks pal. It totally transformed my life and my outlook on life. I dread to think what would have become of me had I not applied for that job all those years ago :)

Those things happen. Afterwards it seems it just had to be ;)

Synchromysticism. Now I'm aware of it, I see it often :)

Your post was manually selected and voted for by @illuminati-inc (IINC) with support of @curie and its train of votes. About IINC: here. About Curie: here.

Much appreciated, thank you :)

I really enjoyed this and can totally relate. When I was young and experimenting with drugs, I felt so free. It wasn't until I began growing up and having responsibilities that it started affecting me in negative ways.

I definitely noticed my tips dropped off and I ironed my shirt less. Was worth it though :) Just a bedtime one once the kids came along.

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