How Offensive Can a Person Be ? - Comedy Open Mic Round 26 Entry 2

It's been a while since I've done one of these. A post that's just meant to be funny without caring for offensiveness, of course I'm just not as brave as before because the intro itself serves as a foreshadow meant to make it lighter, yet not light enough for it to avoid getting shot by Ferguson Police Department. This post isn't for curie, OCD or any other steemit account that sounds like a sexually transmitted disease. Think of it as @jerrybanfield picking up and believing he can be funny.

Yeah Jerry, I laughed my ass off while you were describing twisting your spine in order to suck your own dick or briefly deciding to be gay because no girl would fuck you because that's definitely how it works. Pretty sure Neil Patrick Harris is gay because his ugly ass would never get a

oooooh daddy! never mind that.

But really, Jerry comedy is just as easy as watching a Jim Norton special on Netflix and deciding to pick up a camera and film a roller-coaster breakdown from your bathroom. That was.... well it was something. Here's the only positive review I found online for it

I find this to be very interesting

Said every doctor on psychology today.

But really, I'm pretty sure you're a great person. I just wish you had contacted me before making that video, I'd have done what you did and overcharged for a course..... Except you know... I'll be offering legitimate advice.

Jerry isn't the reason I'm making this post obviously. Although it felt appropriate to start with the man that looks like he'd strangle your pet when you're not around just so you keep that in mind going forward so you know that there's always something worse.

These last few years we've been have been pretty bad, we've seen wars, massacres, school shootings, and The Shape of Water won the Oscars for best picture. Now people reading this are probably divided into 2 groups, those who agree and those who haven't seen it and either way I'd say EXACTLY MY POINT. But also I felt the need to update everyone that we're up to 63 genders now. 64 depending on the mode is for some people today. Either some people have gone insane or we're producing entirely new creatures. The last point really does make sense, I mean just look at @buttcoins

Now tell me if that's not the face of a man who's killed a 13 years old within the last 3 months.

Don't get me wrong, I'm just trying to be as offensive as I can only to feel superiority so in reality I'm the victim here. After the people who are mentioned in this post read, that IF they read it they'd go back to their lives and have sex, and I'll be just here in Iraq drowning in my own sweat while trying to get my dick out of the kitchen sink hole. But for now let me just be mindlessly offensive, maybe I could be offensive to more than one group in one "joke". Who knows I might actually the comedy equivalent of Hitler and pull a sick burn on 20 million people. Too cruel I know, Hitler only killed 17 million people, we need to stop rounding up as it's hurting the reputation of innocent people.

What I even talking? Is there a point to all of this? Well, no. And this is not one of those situations where I undersell it so you love it even more later. This is pretty much like the dick pick I sent to a girl who thought I just haven't gotten a hard on yet, baby, this is all you get. It's like waking up on Christmas morning all excited for gifts when you live in a Muslim household in Saudi Arabia.It's not my fault you're disappointed. Did I just give an example for another example? Anyway back to the point that I never had in the first place. This whole identifying as others thing is going too far, not that I have a problem with the deception really, because it's easy for me to tell who's a woman and a who's a man pretending to be a woman. Here's how I can tell if it's a man that I'm actually with on a date; They said yes to going out on a date with me. And I'm not really complaining as I think it's much easier to shut up your woman when you can kick her in the nuts. See? that's two, a transphobic AND a sexist joke. why isn't it actually considered a genderist joke? Also when you make fun of a non binary person, should it be called "non-joke"? or "Non-binarist"? I just need to know so I recognize it when a bearded man with big boobs and green glasses is offended by me.

How much identifying as other things is too much? We already know identifying as an animal is too much, right? Oh yeah, I actually posted a video about people entering the "Pony space" earlier this month. It's actually harder to enter the "Pony space" than it is the "Llama space" Just ask @idikuci, who's actually a trans as well, he made the transition from a pig to a llama but he's only telling people on discord that as he doesn't want to be judged, which is ironic considering what he does for @comedyopenmic. @dj123 on the other hand is an asshole identifying as Buddha, and to quote @@@anouk.nox on my opinion "fck you budha"and here's an actual quote from Buddha "The mind is everything. What you think you become." HOLLY SHIT, Buddha actually supported and saw this coming. Could it be that Buddha is a transgender himself? Or herself, you know what let's just be PC here, theyself? I don't know I'm just trying to sympathize with a group with an average of 65-75 die every year in the U.S and there's a clear solution for that; stop being a transgender. Wait? 50 of those die by suicide, okay then stop selling them blades, guns and ropes. Wait, that's discrimination. Okay then I have the perfect solution, let's just stop this post.

In all reality I'm just jealous because those people identified as what they wanted and went public with it. Which inspires me to do the same. 3 years ago I had a peaceful and comfortable life out of Iraq and then I identified as a broke and jobless Iraqi living in a house that has electricity 9 hours a day in a burning heat, every day I wake up in a pool of my own sweat, and wait hours for bucket to fill with burning water. But hey, it can be worse. I could be offended by a fucking joke online.

I nominate the disgusting @carlgnash, a man who sang a song about dicks, oh wait, I wrote that, and of course @jerrybanfield because at this point what's a flag going to do to me?