I'm (Comedy Open Mic Round 14 entry #1)

Anyone who watches or reads comics, know that in the superhero universe two phrases reign supreme and they can get you out of any trouble.

Google

So I'm going to give you two real life scenarios where this can come in handy.
First things first, just imagine @holybranches or @pangoli (I don't know which alien cums quicker) about to be the man with their girlfriend, they are already on top like Zeus on mount olympus. 5 and a half strokes later there is a whitish specimen (semen) everywhere maybe yellowish or green (I don't really know what alien cum looks like). The only way to get out of this scenario like a boss is to say two words, and she will be all over you again waiting for the next outpouring.

D.A

Now quickly moving on from the first scenario to the second, keyword is quickly 😅.
You really want the new IPHONE X, it's all you can think about since your EX moved on to her Next victim. You are walking down the streets, face gloomy like a man who has been Hexed, you see a thief running out the Apple centre with a stolen device, you hit him and he falls unconscious, lucky you it's the iPhone X and you pick it up but the security guard walks up to you and says thanks and asks for the phone back but you tell him you want it and he asks you why, listen carefully, this is the only thing that can make you have that phone, all you have to say is

N.G
Works like magic all the time. I'm nominating @otemzi and @francistagbo to put in an entry for the Comedy Open Mic Contest. I hope I made you chuckle 😅