The night time is upon us and there seems to be no glimmer of hope for the weary hearted. The darkness encapsulates the land and the supersonic silence of the good men is as loud as 25 pieces of silver coins clanging as Judas made his way to the tree where he met his death by his own hands. The land needs cleansing, thousands of virgin goats blood have been spilled but there seems to be no respite for the torrid souls living through these harsh extremities. The people look to the sun and pray to Helios to send them a messiah, but the blackness of the sky blinds their eyes to what lies right in front of them. The land yearns for a man of virtue and dignity to dig them out of the rut they have so carefuly dug themselves into, years of oversight, corruption and greed got us here, HOPE will get us out.

I hear it in the crevices of my thoughts, words of the wise and brave; I hear them say evil prevails only when the good men stay silent. I'm coming out to declare my intentions and I care note about your feelings because according to the recent bill passed by the overpaid, no good assholes in this land's legislature, I am not too young to run and in the name of HOPE party, I officially declare my candidacy for the 2019 Presidential election.
I'm not going to lie to you, I was really really really really really high when I came to this decision but after a minute or two of unsober reflection,I concluded this decision will favour my bank account society.

No Bullshit

I like to think I speak for everyone when I say I'm sick of these![reeeqdbnlk.jpg] slick ass politicians using fancy politically correct terms to white wash us and ass fuck the country sideways. Gone are the days when these uneducated overweight micropenis wielding little shits play on your intelligence, vote wisely, vote for no bullshit.

Breaking Walls

I'm a firm believer in unity and breaking the divides that have halted our progress via religious, ethnic and penis size related sentiments that tends to slow us down, so I intend to employ the dickchain model purpoted by my campaign manager @holybranches, to ensure that there is equity,unity and equality in dinches spread accross the country.

Puff and Pass

via GIPHY

Lets be honest with ourselves, this country is a real mess, the abomination we call an economy is in the pockets of the little willied child molesting bastard 1% that spend most of their money on cocain, whores, their whores' families and sponsoring terrorist. Well fuck those guys. All I'm trying to say is that the country is royally fucked and it's going to take some time to root out these fuckers but to soften the effects of my settling in period, I'll do the needful and legalize the sale of weed in our streets, thereby creating jobs for the youths and put a seasoned "ex" practitioner of this trade, @dj123 as head of weed and narcoutics ministry.

CELEBRATING MEMES

Happiness is what we strive for and lets be honest with ourselves, memes have actually brought more happiness and laughter to your lives than any cock-eyed, dickfaced, rapist governor or minister has ever done through the bullshit they feed us on TV. To show our appreciation for this gift from God that keeps giving, I intend to work with a premium meme promoter like @traf(@trafalgar) and ensure that one day out of every month is set aside for for meme generation, collation, assesing and sharing all accross the country. A laughing country is a happy country.

Parting Words

Let's be honest, Nigeria is fucked and it's going to take a conserted effort to fix the wrongs that got done to us and now is the time, vote wisely and let's roll one together; vote for meme security, vote for quality weed, vote for the only HOPE for your futre

I nominate @nairadaddy(minister of finance) and @jeline(one of my first ladies) to make their entries as they join me on this journey to make Nigeria great again.
Here's Introduction for this week's comedyopenmic contest
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