Tomorrow, Tommorow i love you Tommrorow // Comedy openmic round #33

We all have those day when we get out of bed and tell ourselves that this is the day! Life is good. Birdies are a chirpin and your back isnt sore like most days, being a lazy slob and never exercising.

And all youre thinking to yourself is:

HELL YEAH!, today is the day for greatness!

But no it isnt.... Not yet.. You have to buy the damned bread and milk because the bread you have is as dry as a Sunday morning bathroom appointment after youve been drinking in the corner of your local pub, alone, the entire Saturday evening.
You know its bad when the waiters start asking personal questions.

"Hey insert name, hows your mum, dad, getting any loving lately?"

Fuck that! If you ever get familiar with the staff its time to stop going there. You know the waiters are feeling sorry for you, talking behind your back, while they snort cocaine in the bathroom, during breaks, on their minimum wages and drunkard tips, making up names for their boss.....

What was i on about, again?

Oh, Yes.... Tomorrow...

So yeah.. You get that bread and some milk, for your cat, because milk gets you bloated and you need to go to the bank this morning, cause your paycheck came in and your bearded Sokovian landlord that never washes his armpits, smells like onions and 10 day unwashed socks wont wait any more.

So you get to the bank and you realize its fucking Monday!!! FUCK. The retirees get their pension on Mondays!

Oh, now youre screwed. Those fucking double slide, double chamber doors they have piss you off even more then usual because you see those wrinkled faces accosting the poor women behind the desk, taking up way more time then necessary:

"Oh deary me, i though i had a credit limit of 50 more dollars".

You being the only person there not talking in the background about bunions, arthritis and hip replacement, not completely wrinkled up, like your toes that one time you fell asleep, piss drunk, in your neighbors pool;

.
.
.

your eyes meet with the bank clerk, her smiling at you, because you are a devilishly good looking bastard..... or so you think to yourself; never realizing shes only glad that someone is there waiting in line, that she wont have to talk to like theyre a 5 year old child that hasnt had sugar for a week.
So you get ready. You tuck your shirt in your pants, put on the biggest smile you can, push your chest out, raise your eyebrow like youre damn Sean Connery in "From Russia with love".

Its your chance! No more lonely nights eating popcorn watching "The Purge" movies or drinking alone making friends with waiters that never seem to be able to find your change in their coin purse even though their purses are filled to the brim ...

So you wait......You wait for 2 damn hours. Thinking there was a spark there. Something might happen with that nicely dressed chick behind the counter.....

You walk up full of confidence...and... you ask her to check your balance thinking that she will swoon because of those 1000 dollars you have in your bank account.

Guess again.

What did you expect? That you would get a girls number in a bank?
Hahaha.

Yeah... Maybe if you asked one of those 70 year olds, you might have had more luck. And even then you would have to pay for dinner and meet her kids, 20 years older then you, before you would get any action. #Gilf

So now you have another reason to hate banks. "Centrilizoed, scammaroid, lerminati, jewsih, govnarment creations, cant get a date there".

But still, youre finally done... You look back behind you towards the pretty lady pretending to check that you didnt forget your wallet before walking away defeated.

You get back home and its time to make lunch.
Youre a guy, so you probably dont bother much. Canned Tuna and some bread will do. You "nom" for an hour. Clean the dishes, or rather pile them up in the sink, and youre ready for your afternoon shift at your meaningless job...

Who cares what you do?... You just spent 8 hours there. You get back home tired as fuck, you look at the clock and its time for your daily internet browsing.

You come across a article called:

"You might live to 80 years old, but your soul dies much sooner"

Its an article by some douche on a blockchain blog site competing with other losers like him at how fast they can wear out their keyboard keys. And you read that post and every single line of it coincides with the reality of your life....

WTF?

Its 11PM now and all your zest for life and your positivity you woke up with has all faded away, but you dont care. Because you are just too tired, and you know for a fact......

Tomorrow! Tomorrow will be the day for greatness!

See you tommororow. ;)

I nominate @raoufwilly and @torico.