Suicidal Media. Comedy Open Mic 34
I use a Galaxy tablet for most of my work online and the keyboard has a mode called Swype, where you can type words by running your finger around the keyboard to the letters instead of individually typing them. Due to the nature of it, it has to be somewhat predictive, so I can get some interesting autocorrects coming up. It will also default to the word you use most commonly on words that have similar keyboard placements. For example when I Swype people, it often comes up with purple. Not because I use the word purple often, but because it thinks I do from all the times I've Swyped people and not realised that it wrote purple instead. Either that or there is a conspiracy of purple, people eaters…
Another common autocorrect that I get happens whenever I try to write social media. It gets replaced with suicidal media! I'm not sure, but I think it might be trying to tell me something and now I think about it, evidence does seem to be mounting that it could have a point.
Some time ago I posted this on Instagram, because I thought it was rather cute...
...along with some photos and the tag #GuiltTrippingMe. I also explained that she is not broody and if I put the eggs out for her, she just looks at them and walks off.
One of the comments I got was along the lines of:
This isn’t funny, (Yeh, I never said it was) it's cruel and you should at least put the eggs where it can't reach!
Oh wow! Assumptions much? Gosh, now I'm feeling like such a cruel quail mamma to these quail which have the biggest run in the garden and the only reason the basket ever has to be put on the ground is because there is nowhere off the ground to put it while I'm on my belly under the plum tree collecting eggs which they've decided to lay right next to the trunk. Yes, I'm so horrible that they get to lay wherever they want and I must make a habit of teasing this quail because I'd been keeping them for over a year before I even discovered that this is what would happen if I put the basket on the ground.
Ever since that comment, whenever I post a picture of possible educational or informational value I'm running through my head what criticisms I'll get or how cruel I might happen to be...
“don't you know how horrible that is and how awful you are for having an animal
.which behaves oddly,
..got sick,
... you put a hat on it!!!”
Some days my finger hovers above that send button and I wonder if this is the post where it happens. Is this the day I'll commit media suicide?
Nominating @veryspider and @corpsvalues.
Posted using Partiko Android
Hi minismallholding,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
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Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
People like that online are generally quite limited in their capacity in the real world. They feel powerless in life so the keyboard and screen anonymity / distance gives them a feeling of control. They jump on any bandwagon looking for attention and validation.
It would be interesting to see what they're like in reality. Maybe nothing like you'd expect from their online persona.
Brillaint!!
Hats on Chickens This needs it's own tag.
The maker of my hat:
https://www.etsy.com/au/shop/HereChookChook
Social media can have a suicidal effect on our social lives at times. Thankfully, the majority of Steemit isn't like that.
It certainly can if we take some things too seriously. Let's hope Steemit stays sensible.
Potaters gonna tate tate tate.
My swype constantly corrected before to veggies so I had to delete veggies from my dictionary.
I get that one too! I tried deleting it, but it came back! Probably because I do write veggies occasionally. 🤔
I tried to send 'No worries, I'll let her know' to my mother in law; and it autocorrected to, 'Thaw out or shove off, you bitter old crone'
Oh dear! LMAO.
Can't say I've ever had that one...
strangely suited for these odds times we live in. Don't commit suicide media. Reach out to a suicide media friend =D
Suicide media counselling could really take off!
Also I love your birds! I miss keeping poultry so much =p
Are you not in a situation to keep any at the moment?
Sadly no.
Animal Rights activists are all over social media.Its like
source: i.imgflip.com
Btw this line concerns me so much. I give you a warm hug anyways.LOL.
Aww, thanks. You can be my suicide media friend! 😆
Lol purple people eaters! Vikings fan?
Lol! I had to look that up! I might be descended from Scandinavian Vikings, but I think that was way before purple people eaters became a thing.
I used to have the song by Sheb Wooley when I was a kid. He was way before MY time though!