10+ New Chuck Norris Steemit Jokes [Click Or Get Kicked] Comedy Open Mic Week 27 - Entry #1
Chuck Norris and I have a mutual understanding...
Whenever he comes to me in a vision, or leaves a combat knife through my door holding a note to post Chuck Norris Steemit jokes, it's important to act fast.
It really must be amazing to be Chuck Norris. Just imagine if we could walk a mile in his shoes...
You can't. Chuck's shoes are designed to self-destruct if anyone else tries to put them on.
Everyone fears and respects Chuck. He can do whatever he wants. He can do the impossible.
When it comes to Steemit, his account has infinite Steem Power without holding any Steem.
He's also the only Steemian who can have capital letters in their account name.
Now that I'm warmed up, let's get on with it...
10 NEW ORIGINAL CHUCK NORRIS STEEMIT JOKES:
@ned's perfect hair is actually from a hair transplant using Chuck Norris' hair. The debt was repaid with infinite Steem Power, and the smartest SMT dedicated in Chuck's honor.
Chuck Norris created his own @steemmonster card, which blinds anyone if they see it, and single-handedly defeats all other monsters combined.
Chuck Norris once did a Menē silver bullet unboxing using only the power of his mind, just before leaving for his werewolf hunting trip.
If Chuck Norris were a Steemit witness, blocks would get destroyed for missing him.
@damira hasn't posted in a while because she ran off with Chuck Norris. After @dandesign86 wrote him a thank you letter, he's had a lot more time to blog again.
Chuck Norris once did @papa-pepper's hot pepper challenge, and the pepper forfeited.
Spoiler alert!! @dj123 secretly writes blogs for Chuck Norris on an old Steemit hard fork, earning the best reward possible... a thumbs up.
Chuck Norris is traveling to SteemFest in Poland in November. The swim will take him a leisurely 3 hours if he doesn't have to knock out any sharks on the way.
Chuck Norris once won Steemit's @openmic music contest using only a silent video of himself destroying a piano with a vicious roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris once won @comedyopenmic by secretly using @steemmatt's account. The easter egg he left was so powerful that it was instantly Easter when @idikuci realized it.
Hit me with your best replies to make Chuck proud.
Nominations: @bentheredonethat + @mgood.
Thanks to the organizers, judges and llamas for keeping this contest running.
Hi steemmatt,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
Chuck Norris is so powerful, that when I read the title of this post, I simply could not control what happened next - my hand reached for the mouse, clicked on the title to open the post, and I began reading the page. Even now, as I write this comment, I find that my fingers are being compelled by an unknown force, as if someone is controlling them with their mind!
Well, it's a good thing that Chuck Norris is not currently into BDSM. No one could handle even one of the 50 Shades Of Chuck. ;)
Well, the thing about Chuck Norris is that he has so much restraint, nothing can tempt him besides wanting to bring justice to wrongdoers. And damsels in distress.
And raisin bagels with strawberry flavored cream cheese. But I digress...
Was this an accidental poem?
Um...yes. It....ahem...was INDEED meant to be a poem. Yes. That's right. And Chuck Norris wrote it. With my own hand.
Chuck Norris once sent a post of his to the trending section without a single upvote. But seeing the sad state of trending, and not wanting to drain the whole reward pool, he decided to delete all traces of said post. #Good
GuyGodChuckPosted using Partiko Android
If Chuck Norris deleted all traces of himself from the Internet, the entire Internet would collapse.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can power down his STEEM account even when he has no STEEM power
If Chuck Norris ever powered up, the value of Steem would be incalculable.
I once got flagged by Chuck Norris and I didn't even feel the roundhouse coming until my nose passed through my medulla oblongata.
Just kidding. Nobody could live through a Chuck Norris flag.
You're either a doctor or just have some good common sense here.
Haha needless to say, number five is my favorite. Can’t wait to show Damira hehe
It's great that Chuck Norris has shown you mercy by letting you Skype with her once a week.
Minnows look for Whale approval.
Whales look for Chuck Norris' approval.
No one looks for Chuck Norris.
He finds you.
I recommend that you sit down and brace yourself. Chuck Norris let me know that he approves this comment.
This is how Chuck Norris swipes right on Tinder
If you don't fall, he'll date you.
source
Looks more like Grinder, sorry Chuck.
Oh, I thought it important to note that this is Chuck Morris
not Norris
Half brother? Cousin? We need details...
If Chuck Norris could chuck his wood through the blockchain it would poke every Steemian in the eye.
Or can he?
Yes He Can
Will You Be Ready?