Perpetuating the Rat Race
Recently, my wife and I took our two young daughters, aged two and four, to a prep school’s free “gifted and talented” info session in downtown Flushing, New York.
We arrived 15 minutes early and yet there were already packed rows of eager parents and children waiting. My wife was seven-months pregnant with our third daughter at the time, but there was not a single acknowledgement, much less a seating offer, from any parent or staff.
I don’t blame them for the lack of empathy. After all, these folks were all there to ensure their child a spot at the start of one of the most cut-throat, competitive processes in the world—one that leads to a gifted and talented test, middle school exams, a specialized high school test, etc. They were there with an “us-versus-them” attitude.
For many recent immigrant families, this waiting room would have been a familiar and perhaps even a comforting zone. Many are used to not making eye contact, isolating themselves due to a lack of language skills, and being micro-focused on their own family’s needs. Another child’s success or acceptance into the gifted and talented program meant one less seat for their own, so why bother accommodating others?
Imagine a different scenario.
What if there were enough seats for all kindergarten children in high quality public schools, with individualized curriculums designed to meet the needs and curiosity of each? What if this gathering was just an assessment of their 4 year olds’ interests and inclinations to start exposing them to different studies?
What if it wasn’t a “win-lose, us-versus-them” dynamic?
I see an environment where we would foster a lot more collaboration and encourage even the adults to become more open and curious about our different worlds and surroundings. I see one where someone would have gotten up for my pregnant wife.
However, that is not the reality of our current economic paradigm, one based on rewarding extreme competition. It would also be irresponsible to take away one of our country’s most effective pipelines for success, especially in an economy that rewards cut-throat behaviors and fixed “us-versus-them” mindsets.
We live in a fragile and lopsided system designed to extract value from local neighborhoods for large, powerful entities; one which reduces countless everyday people to a constant state of fear and anxiety—worrying about getting sick, putting food on the table, or paying for their kids’ education. In our debt-driven society, 80% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. With trillions of dollars in debt from money borrowed for college, cars, credit cards, etc., it’s becoming increasingly likely that we’re heading toward another major financial breakdown.
Simply put, every day fewer people are actually winning under this system; those parents in the waiting room wanted to give their child every edge needed to be on the winning side.
They are worried for their children’s futures, and they should be.
As a parent going through this process, I hate the rat race and our current paradigm, which has perpetuated a hyper-competitive, hierarchical, and historically male-dominated culture. However, I also now understand that the test-driven pipeline (G&T, SHSATs, etc.) is neither the problem nor the cause. The root of the issue is our debt-driven growth system that rewards competitive and unsympathetic behaviors.
For low-income, minority, or immigrant families, they don’t have the luxury of exiting the rat race. As long as things stay the same, they will do whatever they can to make sure their child is on the winning side of a system with a severe shortage of quality classrooms, high paying jobs, and safe retirement plans.
When NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio decided this year to get rid of the entrance exams to specialized high schools and reform the gifted and talented programs, he made several blunders in the way he communicated his plans, proposed his ideas, and collaborated with stakeholders. Most importantly, he misunderstood the frame of mind for hundreds of thousands parents just trying to survive in a “win-lose” dynamic that mirrors our schools and society at large.
He has not fought and pushed for “win-win” solutions by ensuring access to high quality education for all underserved populations. Instead, his actions and words make it clear that he thinks certain racial groups (Asian Americans) at the best schools have “won enough”—that it’s time for other racial groups to win.
He’s okay with keeping the competitive, zero-sum nature of our specialized high schools and gifted and talented programs by maintaining their limited availability; he just wants to put more underserved minorities on the winning column.
But this approach does not foster more collaboration and empathy between families and communities. It actually worsens race relations by pitting one group against another.
His proposal does not improve the rat race system. Those families who are waiting in line at the gifted and talented info session will do whatever it takes to get their child into the winning column, even if it means moving to a different neighborhood, studying more intensely, cramming more lessons, padding in more extracurriculars, etc.
Instead of designing a “win-win” system that fosters compassion and collaboration between communities, the Mayor and his administration have chosen to vilify those same parents and families who have no choice but to be in the rat race as a result of our system’s—and his—failures.
Sure, it’d be easy for me to just be angry at those parents who refuse to get up for my pregnant wife. But I also see the bigger picture.
I see a broken and unsustainable debt-driven monetary system that incentivizes dehumanizing behavior. I see those apathetic parents as victims, desperately trying to survive in a cruel musical chair game, one that falsely promises enough seats for everyone who follows the rules and works hard.
Instead of taking more chairs away from them, why can’t we add enough so that everyone has a seat?