Most people know me as a super straight-laced kind of guy. I follow the rules, I use good manners, I do not become upset, and I apologize for anything that upsets or inconveniences others. When I drive on the road, I accelerate slowly, I brake slowly, and I leave lots of space around my vehicle to prevent accidents.

However, when I'm driving alone, I curse like a sailor.

"Oh #@$&! Dumbass is in a hurry! Moron! Dimwit, this isn't a race track. Holy $#%&ing Christ! Just had to move to the left lane didn't ya? Part of your master plan to cut off three lanes of traffic to drop a load at Starbucks? Congratulations #@&$hole! Good idea Genius! Text and drive, and put all our lives at risk! That way your fancy Lexus attorneys can rob us for a bonus insurance settlement, and I'm screwed! Use the crosswalk Dumbass, there's two of them 30 feet away. Don't wave me through! The law says you have the right-a-way Idiot at the crosswalk, and I don't want a ticket! Oh my god, the light's green, move! Honk your horn, he's probably deaf too! Holy Jesus, this isn't the Special Olympics Parade, he has a red light, mine is green, and I'm being held up for this @#$&. That's right bring you family, friends, and children. Teach them all to be an inconsiderate #@@, and they can infect future generations with the same mutant moron genes. Have a nice day in Hell!"