THE CONVERSATION REGARDING RECOVERY
Providing assistance to another individual in order to help them live a life that they love and to live it in a strong manner is the essence of transformational therapy. The goal of transformational therapy is to provide a setting in which individuals may acquire the knowledge and skills necessary to effectively alter their lives, to live a life that is distinct from how it was in the past, and to actually create what they want.
Assisting other people in acquiring and deploying sophisticated technologies that will enable them to make a genuine difference in their own lives as well as the lives of others is the focus of transformational therapy. Assisting another person in being present with the ways in which they have stopped themselves in their life and, as a result, transforming their way of being in the world is the focus of transformational therapy. There are five interconnected components that are essential to the successful application of transformational counseling to other people and even to oneself. Although it is composed of a number of differences that are necessary for understanding the process of change, the use of transformational counseling contains these components.
In addition to providing an overview of the fundamental ideas and components of transformational counseling for the purpose of aiding others, this article will also investigate the use of this counseling approach with individuals who are struggling with issues related to alcohol and drug addictions. Anyone who is interested in creating new opportunities for themselves, even those who are battling with recovery, may greatly benefit from the utilization of transformational therapy, which is an extremely powerful technique. The fact that we are all human beings, regardless of whether or not we are dealing with challenges related to addiction, is the major rationale for the application that is being proposed here. As human beings, we all have a feeling of relatedness, which means that the underlying process by which we go about constructing our reality and the things that take place in it for us are the same. Those who are now in the midst of beginning the recovery process have simply made the decision to use alcohol, drugs, or both in the past in order to alleviate the discomfort and unpleasant feelings that were brought on by their self-limiting beliefs and, in the process, to remove themselves from the discourse of life. The consumption of alcoholic beverages and illicit substances is only a means of numbing the extreme agony that is caused by their ego, the person they believe they are, and the self-limiting ideas that they have.
In transformational therapy, the strength of the human mind and the power of thinking itself are both completely valued and acknowledged. The fact that our ideas are inherently creative makes them a very significant part of what it means to be a human being, if not the most important part of what it means to be a human person. Initially, our ideas are the source of our creations since we are thinking creatures. The beginning of all that we do or do in life can be traced back to a single concept or notion. We have a tendency to assume that the external world is reality and that our ideas are only the result or product of such a world. This is a belief that we have a lot of experience with. As a result of this notion, we have a tendency to give our ideas and habits of thinking very little or no genuine credence as being the primary source of the problem. As a consequence of this, we frequently hold the belief that in order for us to experience genuine happiness, we possess the ability to influence or alter aspects of the external world, including other individuals, circumstances, and situations. The dialog of transformational therapy, on the other hand, focuses on the fact that our ideas are the ones that shape or decide our experiences, our moods and actions, and our fundamental sense of reality. In addition, the thoughts that we have or construct about ourselves are what constitute the background of our existence, the framework from which we experience life itself, and the manner in which the world seems to us.
Additionally, transformational counseling recognizes that we are entirely accountable for the creation of our ideas and, most crucially, for the views that we have about ourselves. Our ideas are not the consequence of things happening to us, whether they are the result of circumstances, situations, or the actions of other people; rather, it is the interpretation or meaning that we give to the events that occur that causes them to seem to us in the manner that they do. What we do with the events, or what we give them meaning or make them out to be about, is what shapes our experience. This is a vital concept to grasp in order to comprehend our natural, creative process. Events do take place, even those that include other people. To a certain extent, we are machines that generate meaning; we are continuously imbuing everything in life, including people, places, and things, with significance, and most crucially, what we have to say about ourselves. When we offer or construct meaning in relation to an event, it will impact the experience that we have as human beings and, as a consequence, how we feel, the emotions that we have, and the behavior that will eventually come from that experience. There is a direct correlation between the ideas that we generate and the feelings that we experience, as well as the actions that we take. According to what was stated before, the most significant thought that we generate is the one that pertains to ourselves—the definition that we assign to ourselves. This is the idea that decides or defines our self-image, as well as who we believe we are in the rest of the world.
Individuals who are in the process of recovery do not have the ability to see that their own thinking may be the source of their unpleasant experiences and dependence on alcohol, drugs, or both. This is especially true when they are actively using substances. Their issues are considered to have been brought on by something external, such as their circumstances, life events, or even other people in their lives. They feel that this is the reason for the difficulties that they are experiencing. They are really continuing to produce the same kinds of experiences and lives that initially led them into treatment as they continue to maintain their attention on things that are external in their efforts to cope with life or even to heal via the process of recovery. The individual will have a tendency to take very little accountability for himself, if any responsibility at all, when they are connected to this way of being. It is common for individuals to attribute blame or even guilt to the individual for the experiences that they are going through. The individual will continue to produce the same kinds of sensations that they are now having if they do not recognize or realize the genuine source of their experience and the substances that they are using. If they are unable to utilize their innate skills and power to improve their lives, they will be left with more of their past and a future that is likely to be practically certain. Regrettably, a missing person is not only present with the one who is struggling with dependence difficulties but also with the majority of the counselors who are striving to aid people who are in the process of recovery. The majority of counselors who work with people who are in recovery do not fully comprehend the impact that our ideas have on our creativity or the fact that we are solely accountable for the creation of our thoughts.
The existence of a self-limiting belief is the first distinction that must be made in order for an individual to start the process of transforming their life. When a person is able to become present to the self-limiting belief, they are able to go to the root of what has genuinely stopped them in their life, what has prevented them from living a life that they love and from living it with significant power. The opportunity or space has been created for a person to begin to create themselves anew, to reinvent themselves, and to be different in the world once they have the distinction or awareness of the self-limiting belief of what has been driving their bus. This may be the first time in that person's life that they have experienced this opportunity or space. This act of creativity refers to the process of coming up with several options. Taking on the responsibility of creating and living to one's potential is the means by which an individual begins to construct a life that is significantly different from what it was before a talk about transformation took place. Following the creation of possibilities, the next step for an individual is to acquire the knowledge necessary to continually be or live inside his possibilities by mastering the process of enrollment. It is through the process of participating in the formulation of a daily plan and remaining in communication with others that the technology of transformation is completely realized and lived for the individual. Once the technology of enrollment has been obtained and the individual has begun to regularly use it in his or her life, he or she will be able to say that they have lived it. It is only possible to fully appreciate the potential of this powerful technology when both the person being aided and the person providing assistance are participating in the discussion. This technology is relevant to both in equal measure.
A conviction that we have about ourselves and about who we believe we are in the world is an example of a self-limiting belief. A self-limiting belief is a thought that has influenced, if not completely decided, our existence in the past, is influencing what we think, say, feel, and do in the present, and will be the source of our future. A concept or way of thinking that originates between the ages of three and six is referred to as a self-limiting belief within the context of the discourse that takes place within the realm of transformational therapy. There was an incident that occurred in the life of the individual, an occurrence that the kid feels should not have occurred in the manner that it did, and the individual, when they were a child, formed a judgment or gave the event meaning or significance. It is because of this incident and the meaning that the kid has formed about it that the child has also built a notion about themselves, about who they believe they are in the world as a result of the occurrence. This is because a child believes that everything revolves around them. After then, the youngster transforms the concept into a belief, a belief that is centered on their perception of their own feeling of adequacy, value, or worth as a living being. An individual develops a feeling that something is amiss with them or that they do not have enough of themselves. Gaining an understanding of the differences between self-limiting ideas and other beliefs is essential to the personal growth and ongoing development of an individual. It is possible that the individual's life will continue to be the same as it has always been because they will continue to be the person they believe they are. If the individual does not understand the distinction between the self-limiting belief and who they have been, then their life will remain constant. One can differentiate between the two in a number of different ways. One approach, for instance, is to have a person start paying attention to what they say during conversations. The self-limiting notion will ultimately be revealed if the individual is able to become present with what they truly say. Monitoring the way in which we communicate with ourselves is yet another method for identifying our self-limiting beliefs. The self-limiting concept is truly there in our everyday language, in the words that we utter, particularly when we make reference to the self and when we are speaking to ourselves in our inner voice. In spite of the fact that it originates from the past, the self-limiting notion is present in the game that we play and the conversations that we have with ourselves in the present.
Obtaining this distinction is essential to the individual who is going through the agony of alcohol and drug dependency, as it is essential to their transformation and also to their achievement in their recovery. There is a propensity for the addicted person to not want to learn about the existence of the self-limiting belief, despite the fact that a discourse about the existence of the self-limiting belief is quite unknown to everyone. It is a characteristic shared by all human beings that we have a tendency to try to conceal our self-limiting ideas from ourselves and, more importantly, from other people. At least in the beginning, no person wants to talk about their feelings of inadequacy with another person; rather, they are preoccupied with having a positive or negative appearance in the eyes of other people. As a result of our efforts to suppress its presence, we produce a significant amount of energy, which will, in the long run, have a highly detrimental impact on our way of being or our existence in the world. It is inevitable that the bad feelings that are linked with desires for drugs will be recreated as a result of the same act of engaging in a talk about self-limiting beliefs. It will be necessary for the individual to feel that which is concealed in their core method of being inauthentic in life in order for them to be able to become present with the self-limiting notion. The individual will also experience the unpleasant emotions that are generated by the self-limiting belief once it has been obtained. It is in this emotional state that the addicted individual will have a predisposition to desire to repair the problem by reverting to very familiar ways of doing things, such as taking drugs and alcohol. On the other hand, if the self-limiting concept is not overcome, life will continue to be the same as it has been in the past, which will result in a future that is very likely and nearly inevitable.
The second step in this process is to create opportunities for oneself, which goes hand in hand with the first step. Producing possibilities is the process of redefining or reinventing oneself, of really producing new language and words from which to begin the process of developing a new and more powerful individual who expresses themselves. A space is created or opened up for the individual to literally say or declare who they will now be for themselves, others, and the world once they have become present to who they have been in the world, to their self-limiting belief, and to the impact that it has had in his life, both on himself and on others. This process occurs once the individual has become present in the world. Creating new terms with which to start speaking or referring to oneself as existing is a straightforward step in the process of redefining oneself. This is a straightforward, straightforward procedure. For example, if an individual’s self-limiting belief is that he is “not enough,” he could begin to redefine or invent himself as the possibilities of "acceptance," "creativity,” and “leadership” merely by declaring and intentioning himself to be these possibilities in his spoken word. Creating such a new language from which to refer to oneself will become for that person his new self-affirmation. Committing such a self-created affirmation to one's spoken word will create a space from which the individual will have the opportunity to experience life differently—a life of power, freedom and full self-expression. Such a declaration is not merely linguistic but will begin to call forth action. Who we are and who we say we are will eventually determine what we do and have in life.
Listening to the conversation about possibilities will be even more unfamiliar than the one about the self-limiting belief. Even though possibilities will be created for the individual and a sense of hope and inspiration will be created, there will be a tendency at some point for the person to not believe that their life can be truly transformed merely by creating possibilities. Even when the person realizes the existence of his self-limiting beliefs, how he has been living his life, and the impact on himself and others as a result, a sense of doubt will arise that mere words or language will truly assist them in transforming their lives, let alone cause them to be successful with respect to their recovery. As with a newborn child, the existence of possibilities once invented or created will be quite fragile. There will be a tendency at the beginning of this conversation to return to a self-limiting belief if, for no other reason than that, it is familiar to the person. The self-limiting belief is about life in their comfort zone, from the ego, in what is reasonable and familiar to them. Even though the individual will become enrolled in his possibilities, it is the person’s initial lack of application in life that will leave him vulnerable. The individual will return to his community, and with this reentry, a breakdown will happen. The success of this process will rest upon the individual continuing to stay in the conversation about his possibilities and also upon the one assisting to continue to generate the space necessary for this creative process to be lived fully.
The third component of transformational counseling is that of enrollment. Enrollment is the process of continuing to stay inside or live into one's possibilities and out of one's self-limiting beliefs. The process or technology of enrollment will be vital when one starts to again experience a loss of power, freedom or self-expression that is equitable to the negative human emotions of anger, depression, etc. When we have such an experience, our past has again reappeared for us. Such reappearance is merely our self-limiting beliefs once again determining who we are in the world. Once again, our self-limiting belief is driving our bus. The process of enrollment allows us to get rid of the inauthenticity that we have created by again being our self-limiting beliefs.
Enrollment allows us to get present to what we are pretending about the experience and what we are hiding. The pretense is always about another person, place, or thing and with it comes the experience of some sort of sense of threat and blame. The story of pretense has something to do with the other person, situation or circumstance causing us to feel a certain way. Enrollment technology allows us to see that we created the pretense, the story, and, furthermore, what the experience is truly all about. Becoming present to what is hidden from us in the experience allows us to again make the distinction between our self-limiting belief and that which is truly creating the experience. It is our self-limiting beliefs that actually create the breakdown due to the individual’s sense of inadequacy with respect to the situation, circumstance or interactions with others. Once we become present to that which is creating the inauthenticity, we are able to give it up through enrollment and again reinvent ourselves through the creation or even regeneration of our possibilities. Once a person enrolls in himself, the inauthenticity he created disappears and with it, the individual’s power, freedom and full self-expression are once again restored.
The creation of possibilities will begin a process of bringing forth action. The individual who takes on creating possibilities for himself and his life will become very motivated to do and be differently in life. With the creation of possibilities, the person will experience a renewed sense of power, freedom and self-expression. However, it is in this breakthrough of creating possibilities that the person will eventually experience breakdowns in the various domains of his life, especially when he begins to live life on life’s terms. When the individual returns to his community and to life as it was before the recovery process started, there will be a tendency to experience breakdowns. When one returns to his community, there will be a discrepancy between how he was before his transformation began and how he is now. When one returns to his community, there will also be a tendency to return to familiar ways of being and dealing with the circumstances and situations of life and even other people. It is upon his return that the technology of enrollment will be crucial to his continued transformation and recovery. The use of enrollment will allow the person to understand how he is actually creating the breakdown himself, how he is creating a story about the situation, circumstance, or others and most importantly, the source of this creation, his self-limiting belief. The self-limiting belief generates the context in which the world occurs for us. Knowing that he is creating this experience from the background of his self-limiting belief will give him the power to choose, the power to return to being his possibilities, thereby allowing him to experience the circumstance, situation or another in a manner that is in alignment with or from his possibilities.
The daily plan is the fourth component in the utilization of the technology of transformational counseling. Transformational counseling is not merely about understanding the power of our thoughts but ultimately about action. We live in a world of action, and for us to make a difference in our lives as well as in those of others, we must ultimately create through action. The Daily Plan gives one the opportunity to begin to create their life anew by assisting them in monitoring their day-to-day activities and behavior. As our possibilities will call forth action, the Daily Plan gives one the opportunity to begin to create their life differently by planning what they will specifically take on or do to create or bring forth their chosen possibilities in their lives. The Daily Plan is about making a commitment to oneself to fulfill their intentions and their possibilities. One of the fundamental elements of this structure is how an individual will measurably bring forth his possibilities in his life and how he will go about practically creating them for himself and the world. The Daily Plan also gives one the opportunity to stay present with his self-limiting beliefs as they arise in the act of fulfilling his Daily Plan. Having a breakthrough with the creation of possibilities and especially with their implementation in life will eventually create a breakdown too. With the use of a daily plan, the person will have the opportunity to become present to what is stopping him and, as a result, get back into generating his possibilities through enrollment and, as a result, continue to create from the present.
While the use of the daily plan will support and assist the individual in his transformation and recovery, there will also be a tendency to not complete it on a consistent basis. The use of the daily plan is antithetical to the existence of the self-limiting belief, with which the individual is very familiar. In addition to assisting the individual in creating the life that he wants and being able to distinguish his self-limiting belief as it reappears, the Daily Plan is also about commitment and integrity, both to himself and others. When the individual develops or creates his daily plan, he will be making a commitment to himself and others to what he says he wants to create in his life. Once the individual’s plans for his transformation and recovery are made real by committing them to written form in his daily plan, it will become an issue of integrity, of doing what he said he would do, of doing complete work with whatever he does, and of doing what he does as it was meant to be done. It is only by staying true to his integrity and fulfilling his commitments to himself and others that he will be able to live into his possibilities and transform his life. The individual will either be his self-limiting belief or his possibilities, and it is through his integrity that he will have the opportunity to become present to his commitment or intention in life. The Daily Plan is a powerful technique that will effectively assist one in his transformation and recovery.
The conversation is the fifth component of transformational counseling and is about enrollment and the self-limiting belief that reappears in one's commitments to his daily plan. While identified as the fifth component of this process, the conversation actually begins when one is introduced to the work of transformation. It will always be a question of whether or not one will stay in the conversation to continue to do the work of transformation after enrollment has taken place. However, the conversation is about communicating with others through the enrollment process. It is in this conversation that we have the opportunity to begin and continue utilizing the technology of transformational counseling. There will always be breakdowns in life, even as we utilize the work of transformation. When we once again experience a loss of power, freedom and self-expression, our past has reappeared again in our life and with it, a breakdown. Staying in the conversation with another person during transformation will give us the opportunity to become present in the inauthentic way of being that we have recreated and also to create the space for us to experience another breakthrough. It is only in a conversation with another where we get the stories that we invent in the pretense about others, situations and circumstances that we will have the opportunity to also get present to that which is hidden from our view, the context, that which is truly creating our breakdown experience. That which is hidden is always from our past and has to do in some manner with our self-limiting beliefs.
Furthermore, it is only through this distinction that a clearing will be caused to live in possibility once more. The conversation is about enrollment, enrolling ourselves and assisting others through enrollment. It is only through communication with another that we can continue to be and live into our possibilities, and with it, we can maintain our participation in the work of transformation with another and with ourselves.
As alluded to above, there will be a tendency to want to leave the conversation, especially when one has first gotten or been introduced to the technology of transformation and transformational counseling. The initial experience of power, freedom and full self-expression is very enrolling and with this feeling of being touched, moved and inspired by our possibilities, one may develop the belief that no future work is really necessary. However, the technology of transformation is not something that you simply get but something that is constantly gotten. When not in communication with others inside the conversation of transformation, there will be a tendency to stop doing the work and go back to what is familiar, especially to the familiar ways that we attempted to resolve breakdowns. It is the familiar that is within the world of self-limiting beliefs. As mentioned above, self-limiting does not go away; it is there throughout our lives. While the self-limiting belief will reappear in our lives through a breakdown, staying in the conversation with another will assist us in distinguishing the inauthenticity that we create and once again empower us to get back into or create new possibilities for ourselves. Continuing the work of transformation by staying in the conversation with others is not familiar and, in many respects, unreasonable. However, staying in the conversation is crucial to our continued transformation as human beings living in the world and to the recovery process too.
I am currently the Director of Outpatient Services at the Holistic Addiction Treatment Program in North Miami Beach, Florida. In working with people entering recovery in both inpatient and outpatient programs, it has been my experience that one of the first behaviors that will appear for the individual entering a relapse mode is when he takes himself out of the conversation. This process of taking oneself out of the conversation applies to whether one is attending transformational-oriented group sessions or attending daily AA or NA meetings for those in the 12-Step Program in recovery. When the person stops seeking and having human contact with people assisting him in his recovery, when one drops out of communication with other human beings who are helping him to transform his life, there will be a tendency to go back to that which is familiar for dealing with breakdowns. For those in recovery, one of the familiar ways of attempting to fix a breakdown is to self-medicate with either alcohol, drugs or both. When the individual cuts himself off from the very process of his transformation and recovery and cuts himself off from communicating with another human being about what he is experiencing, the relapse process has begun for that person. The individual is once again unable to understand how he is creating the breakdown and how to transform it.
A significant portion of the reason that this technology is not utilized in the field of recovery or even in the field of mental health is that the majority of counselors are not even aware of its existence. This is because staying present to the existence of his self-limiting belief, generating his possibilities through his daily plan, and processing breakdowns with others through enrollment does create the space for the individual to transform his life, enroll in the 12-Step Program, and be successful in recovery.
For example, most counselors are not aware of or present with the concept of a self-limiting belief, let alone how it will, if not distinguished, continue to create a barrier or constraint for another. Most counselors are not even aware of the actual power of our thinking or how we actually create our experiences, thoughts, feeling and behaviors. Unfortunately, this lack of awareness as to how we create the occurring world leaves most counselors able to only focus on that which is external to the client, that is, situations, circumstances and other people and their behavior. When we focus on that which is external to the client and engage in a discussion about a situation, circumstance or another, we run the risk of not generating the space for the client to get how he created or is continuing to create his experiences. When we are unable to assist a client in discovering how he created his situation, circumstances, or relationship with another through his thinking and thoughts, we run the risk of having the client assume little if any responsibility for his life, reinforcing or supporting a state of total disempowerment and leaving a probable, almost certain future for the client.