“George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic @ The Oregon Zoo, 10 Aug. 2019” by Richard F. Yates

[All the photos for this post were taken by me with my phone camera. We are hoping, someday, (maybe once the kids are all moved out), to be able to buy a “REAL” camera, with which Mariah and I will take many wonderful pictures. For now, we use what we have! ---RFY]

When Mariah and I got married (21 years ago), she was only 23 and I was 25. For our honeymoon, (cheap---we were poor…sure glad we’re not poor anymore…) …For our honeymoon, we got a room in Portland, Oregon, and our big entertainment for the weekend was supposed to be going to see George Clinton (the FUNK MASTER) in concert at one of the not-too-big clubs in the city. (Maybe Roseland Theater…or La Luna…or Crystal Ballroom. Neither of us can remember...) But, SADLY, Mariah forgot her I.D.!!! And because she was so young (and LOOKED so young), there was no chance that we could get her in without proof of her age (the show was 21 and over), so we had to skip the concert. (Neither of us can figure out why we didn’t just drive back to Longview and GET her I.D.---it’s only a 45 minute trip, 90 minutes both ways. But, for some reason, we didn’t. Young and foolish then. (Old and foolish now… Just like They Might Be Giants said…))

Luckily, a mere two decades later, we got ANOTHER chance to see the P-FUNK, this time on the ONE NATION UNDER A GROOVE 2019 TOUR!

On Saturday, 10 Aug. 2019, Mariah got up early and went to help out with the Survivors’ booth at the local Relay for Life event (in Kelso, Washington.) I stayed home to work on frivolous junk because I believe that frivolous junk is incredibly important, even though it’s not always valued by society. (Much of the morning’s excitement is chronicled in my “Report” for the day. I like writing reports. They’re fun.)

At around 3:00 P.M., Pacific Standard Time, after Mariah returned from her civic duty, she and I got into a vehicle and began the arduous journey (via Interstate 5 southbound) to Portland. Ominously, it started to sprinkle---just a bit---on the drive, but we were optimistic, thinking it was just going to be a quick shower, and we kept traveling. Traffic was a bit touch and go, once we got TO Portland (it’s not a fun city to drive in, but a hundred times better than Seattle, and one THOUSAND times better than L.A. or Vegas, which are a bunch of SHIT to drive in), but even with the traffic, we still made it to the Oregon Zoo by about 4:00 P.M. (This was a full hour, maybe an hour and a half, before the gates were supposed to open for the general admission concert goers. With a general admission ticket, you just find a place on the grass in front of the stage (behind the roped off “assigned seating” spots) and sit on the ground to watch the show. It’s a very cool venue, and we were even closer to the stage this time than we were last summer when we saw Adam Ant and The Fixx!

We rented a couple of little lawn chairs; you have to have special, VERY SHORT, chairs to sit in at this venue so that the people behind you can still see. Or you could sit on the ground. We’re old. We rented seats. There are also a bunch of food carts and places to buy beer and that kind of junk all around the seating area, and Mariah took off to get some Mexican food and a beer, while I sat and watched our spot and finished a couple of drawings. (At one point, the competition for SEATING became quite FIERCE, with some serious border disputes and cussing and such going on right behind us. EVENTUALLY, apologies were made by the combatants, and the primary aggressor offered to buy drinks for the other folks, so all worked out well enough, but the situation was rather TESTY for a bit there…)

Eventually, after all the waiting and drawing and fighting and eating food, the ONE NATION UNDER A GROOVE TOUR got rolling!

First up was a band called Miss Velvet & The Blue Wolf… I’m not going to say too much about this band, (I was told that, if you can’t say nuthin’ nice, you shouldn’t say nuthin’ at all…), but they were a funk / hard rock blend, with some solid percussion, good horn work, and perfectly respectable musicianship all around---but the vocalist just didn’t quite work for me. She had a voice vaguely reminiscent of Janis Joplin, but she seemed like she should be fronting a metal or grunge or crust-punk band, not a funk group. Much of the crowd was grooving and shaking to the music, but the vocals just didn’t work (for me.) (And I heard at least one person behind me say something similar…) Moving on…

Next up was a band from New Orleans called Dumpstaphunk, and they were EXCELLENT! (I don’t remember hearing of Dumpstaphunk before this event, but the music seemed somewhat familiar---and several people in the audience were wearing their shirts, so I THINK they are a more popular band that somehow slipped outside of my field of awareness.) These guys were great. Horns were loud and strong, the songs were fun, and they could SERIOUSLY create a solid groove for the folks to bop along with. I’ll definitely be looking for a CD or two by these guys in the future.

The third band was, secretly, the one I was most excited to see: FISHBONE!!! Fishbone is a fantastic ska / punk / funk band out of L.A., who have been rockin’ the alternative / underground world since the early ‘80s, at least. (The Wiki says they formed in 1979.) High energy, lots of FUNK, and the lead vocalist, Angelo Moore, has a very “Cab Calloway” vibe (which is exciting to watch), AND the band was SHARP! They opened with the perfect cut, “Sunless Saturday” (on a sunless Saturday), but IRONICALLY, partway through their track, “Everyday Sunshine,” it started to rain!!! They powered forward, ending with the high energy, nearly perfect track, “Party at Ground Zero!” (If you’ve never seen the video, I can’t recommend it enough! Funny, kinda creepy…great stuff!) Fishbone are a brilliant band. Catch them if you can… AND, they had these t-shirts available with their skeletal fish logo, printed in bright colors on a stark black background, and big, thick lettering that said, “FUCK RACISM!” I TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, 100% agree with that sentiment. (If I weren’t a poor bastard, I would have bought one…) Even in the rain, it was worth coming to this concert just to see Fishbone…

By Fishbone’s final song, it was raining pretty heavily… Because this is the Pacific Northwest, you kinda have to EXPECT that it might start raining at any moment---even in August---so we weren’t completely surprised, but still... After a few minutes of heavy rain, I admit, I thought about leaving. My jacket was cotton, so it got soaked almost instantly, and it felt like I was packing around an extra 15 pounds of WETNESS. Still, we decided that we weren’t going to miss our LAST chance to see George Clinton, (this is supposedly his final tour), just because we were getting a little wet. Or a LOT wet…

And a lot of folks in the crowd ALSO decided to stay…

So it rained for a bit, and we all got wet, and then the rain started to slack off….

AND THEN….

We got to see GEORGE CLINTON, live and in person!!!

Now let’s get a few things clear. George Clinton is 78 years old!!! He’s been performing since the 1950s. He was a founding figure in the CREATION of FUNK music. His bands, Funkadelic and Parliament, have fundamentally changed the direction of music history, and the album artwork for some of his classics, like One Nation Under a Groove, are so iconic that they’ve changed VISUAL art, as well, showcasing the brilliant work of artists of color, like Pedro Bell!!! Clinton is an absolute LEGEND, and he deserves absolute respect and love.

With that said, he is 78 years old… Maybe he’s lost a bit of energy, and he didn’t sing as much as I would have liked, instead allowing the backup singers to carry much of the load, while he conducted the band… And he sat down through some of the tunes---but GAWD DAMN! He’s 78 years old! I’m 47, and I couldn’t have stood through the entire set… Still, it was pretty damn cool to finally see the LEGEND live in concert!

And there were some seriously magical moments, like when the band started to play one of Clinton’s signature tunes, “Flashlight,” and THIS happened!

[And notice, as everyone was waving their “flashlights” around, there seems to be a “visitor” up in the sky watching the proceedings. Now, I realize it’s probably just an airplane, but I like to IMAGINE that it’s the MOTHER SHIP keeping an eye on George, so they can come get him when the show is over!]

Of course, it did start raining again as the show went on, but most folks kept right on feeling the groove. I admit, we slipped out a bit early. I’m OLD, and I was wet and uncomfortable, and people kept bumping into me---everyone was sitting and grooving for the first three bands, but they got up to shake it once the P-Funk hit the stage---and I have serious, neurotic, proximity issues, so I talked Mariah into slinking away a few songs before the show wrapped up…

One of the best things about seeing a concert at the Oregon Zoo, though, is that it’s a very COOL place, VISUALLY---especially at night. As the concert lights flashed, the venue was also well lit by trees covered in various colors. It’s a pretty neat effect…

So, overall, it was a great show in a fantastic venue. More than anything ELSE, though, it was just a lot of fun spending time with my lovely wife, who puts up with a LOT of shit from me! (How many wives would be willing to spend hours, driving to several different stores, just to find SIDEWALK CHALK for their full-grown---well, 5ft. 3in., not QUITE full grown---ADULT husband??? Not too damn many.) That’s the trick, though, isn’t it? You find someone who is willing to be just as CRAZY as you are (and who can put up with some crippling neuroses, if the need should arise), and you try to enjoy being with them for as long as you can. Don’t fight, don’t be petty, just have a good time. And FUCK RACISM, just like Fishbone said!

Keep on funkin’!!!

---Richard F. Yates
(Primitive Thoughtician and Holy Fool)

[P.S. – One dark note: Mariah and I discussed this a bit, and although nothing happened at the event that we attended, we were both very conscious of the POSSIBILITY of something horrible happening while we were out trying to have a good time---thanks to the many mass shootings and other awful things that have happened in the U.S. and other parts of the world in the last few years. It’s a fucking tragedy, and completely inexcusable, that the U.S. government---which seems to be consumed by GREED and a desire for more POWER---refuses to take the steps necessary to make the type of evening that we just enjoyed, or simple activities like shopping or going to school or going to a movie, SAFE for all people. WE were lucky, whereas the people who went to that one Las Vegas concert or the Ariana Grande show in Manchester, WEREN’T so lucky. It sickens me that nothing is being done to PROTECT PEOPLE FROM POLITICS… Sorry. This is a bit of negativity in the midst of all the fun, but Mariah and I BOTH had the same thoughts going through our heads at this show: “Could it happen here?” Yes. Yes, it could have happened there… A sobering reminder of how the world is now… I thought I should mention this... Carry on…]

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