Resolve conflicts with the family council

In regular meetings, the difficulties within the family are discussed. For such a meeting to be productive and bring results, there are some rules to keep in mind:

• Timing and meeting point must be determined early, the appearance is voluntary for each member of the family, but the decisions made are binding on all.
• Everyone is allowed to express their opinion and formulate complaints, problems and annoyances without being interrupted.
• Every assembly needs a leader. This is set at the beginning of the Family Council and changes at each meeting.
• The aim is to find solutions that are borne by all members. This increases the likelihood that everyone will comply with the decisions made.
• How long established rules are also decided in the family council.
• Also pleasing things should be discussed.
• All family members should strive for cooperative behavior and a friendly tone of voice

The family council is not a panacea, but it can bring good results and an improvement in daily living together, especially for uncooperative teenagers. Even with children of school age, the family council can get the children used to taking responsibility and decisions.

Each match-method

What is becoming more and more popular in the business world also works with children in everyday life: Create a so-called "win-win situation" in which not only do you set your parents' limits, but also create positive things for your child.

This method is particularly suitable for dealing with older children, as there must be a willingness to accept the opinion of the interlocutor. Especially in conflicts in teens, the Every-Winning strategy is often very successful.

The goal of the method, which works well in family conferences, is to make everyone feel equal and to work together to find a solution to the problem. The solution should take into account the sensitivities of all and be acceptable to all.

Principle of the method is: I am important as a parent and set a limit and you are important as my child and I respect your needs. The problem solving takes place in individual steps and according to certain rules:

• The problem is recognized and put into words.
• Every participant is looking for a solution.
• The suggested solutions are evaluated together.
• Together, a decision is made as to which solution is the optimal one.
• Subsequently, the decision can be worked on - it is refined and adapted.

Working together to find solutions creates cohesion and trust within the family, as well as empowering children to deal constructively with difficulties privately and professionally as adults.

The each-win method is part of the so-called Gordon training and was originally developed for dealing with professional conflicts in the team.

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