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RE: Complaining, Disempowerment and Negative Feedback loops (Part 2)
Good suggestions to start catching and redirecting our negative patterns. Complaining has merit, as you said, but if you just continue and never try to solve or move on then its's an exhausting state. I have a similar relationship as you do with my parents: my dad tends to be super negative and my mom carries everyone's problems (and she's a nurse so its a lot of sickness and sadness). I try and listen until I feel myself shifting and then just as nicely and firmly as I can let them know that this isn't what I want to be doing right now.
I try to be playful as I can about it. It’s hard to joke about others problems without sounding insensitive but sometimes dark humor works. My dad always gets worried about nukes and global warming and I’m always like “at least we won’t have to go to work if the world ends” Or if it’s a complaint about work “well global warming might end us all so just enjoy it!” This takes some calibration hahaha
hahah oh yeah I knoooow. I tend to take the joke route and have definitely had many many not land haha. Calibration is the perfect word