Come On You're Beautiful! A MESSAGE OF SELF-LOVE (SML Challenge S2:R12)
I dedicate this to all women. I wrote this for women and the pressures placed upon them with struggling with the beauty myth and all those unrealistic, torturous ideals held by the mainstream media. ## What's the Backstory? My ex-girlfriend of almost 5 years was a gorgeous well-known Australian TV actress. She ticked all the boxes that Hollywood loves most. She was young, slim, blonde, had a smile and fun style that lit up every room she walked into and a wicked Aussie sense of humour, but behind closed doors she was often a depressed and angry mess.
She scored one of the biggest management deals in Hollywood and was tipped for great success.
But she knew she needed to stay on top of her 'looks'.
So she worked her butt off to keep slim, even whilst we were on a very healthy, but strictly curated diet, she struggled with weight.
I recall a rather overweight lass saying to her, "It's alright for you. You're slim! You don't have to worry about weight!"
WHA?!?!
From what I've witnessed, women can be far crueler to each other than men can be.
Anyway, because there are unspoken almost immutable laws in the film and TV industry around how a woman and a man (Yes, we men feel the pressure these days too - I had an acting agent outright ask me whether I was buff, cut and had 6-pack abs!!!) is supposed to physically look for the screen, she felt the pressure.
Not only that, but she had a cystic skin condition that caused huge cystic pimples which are a BIG NO NO for screen actors so she treated that with harsh allopathic medication of which the main side effects were depression and low libido amongst a list of other things.
It was tough. Tough for her. And I'm not going to lie, it was tough for me as her partner to constantly deal with too.
Why?
Because, aside from her massive medication-induced mood swings, she began projecting those pressures onto me.
I had to look a certain way.
She would often compare me to others (usually 15 years younger than me).
I've almost always been very comfortable with who I am, but I started losing self-confidence with how I looked and I noticed that it was never good enough for me and often not for her. Heck! Even when I had six-pack abs and was super athletically fit it just wasn't good enough.
It was a potentially serious and very subversive mental illness.
What's worse still is that it also affected my eldest daughter. By the time she hit her mid-teens, she suffered from body dysmorphia. That was scary for me to watch her fall down that hole and it really hard to heal my little girl from it.
After I split from that relationship, I had to learn to fall in love with myself again.
I had to nurture my heart and self-perception.
I still sometimes struggle with how I look from time to time.
I have to catch myself when the inner critic is being abusive to my inner child and put him in his place whilst nurturing the little boy inside.
The Song's Message
So I penned this song as an important message for her and for all the women in our dysfunctional, youth-obsessed society.
Don't let the mainstream media brainwash your mind.
Don't get me wrong, good health and fitness is of utmost importance for your biological meat-suit, but true beauty is what radiates from within you to the world that you relate with every day.
Your beauty is the life-force coursing through your cells.
Your beauty shines from your heart through your eyes.
It's calling to you now!
COME ON, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
This style is very different to what you'll normally hear me do and what I am best known for, but I hope you enjoy this little pop ditty with a big heart!
I'm entering this into the Steemit Music League Challenge S2:R12 - theme: Popular Music brought to you by the big-hearted @chiefmappster
LYRICS
*All your life you’re told so many lies,
What is right and what is wrong
With the media, magazines
Saying you’re too skinny, too fat,
Too pretty, too ugly, too this, too that,
But they’re wrong,
And I heard you say something rough,
Yeah I heard you say you’re not enough…
Come on,
Come on,
You are beautiful!
Come on,
Come on,
You are beautiful!
Yes you are!
Just last night he said goodbye,
I saw your eyes fall down your face,
Scattered round the place,
Looking for a trace
Of a warm embrace,
(You) thought it was your face,
But it’s just a change it’s not about you, it’s not about you,
Then I heard you say something rough,
Yeah I heard you say you’re not enough…
Come on,
Come on,
You are beautiful!
Come on,
Come on,
You are beautiful!
Yes you are!*
Released on the Lucky Man album 2010/2011
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This is lovely Nathan. It's really interesting to hear it from a man's perspective. We never know how people are feeling on the inside. It's hard for me now as I get older too - you start getting invisible to pretty much everyone which doesn't do your self esteem anygood either! So there's another perspective! It's easy to say I don't give a fuck but there's all those niggles left over from those projections of what a perfect woman should be - and I've never been that, though hubby thinks I've got curves to die for and thinks i'm totally beautiful, none of that weighs in against that harsh inner critic. I do tend to catch myself these days and affirm that I AM beautiful, just like all the beautiful souls I see around me. xxx And you, too xx
@riverflows you nailed it sister. You are a beautiful soul and I'm always uplifted reading your posts. Much love...
Awww shucks. Thanks sister x thats too kind!!! Xxx
great post for music lovers
This is so true. This is so honest and beautiful. We all need to be more nurturing and gentle with ourselves! Since I've started vlogging, I have realized, that I will tend to not record myself unless I've got a bit of makeup on. Isn't that ridiculous?
And I agree, having been part of the music industry, there was always pressure to carry a certain image. I remember a certain old bandmate constantly trying to get me to wear skirts on stage. It didn't seem like a big deal, but for me, it took away my sense of self and my confidence. I only gave in once and it was my worst show ever because I wasn't being true to me. It made me self-conscious and my performance suffered as a result. It's a very small sliver of an example, but one that stuck with me.
The mass media has done such a number on sexualizing everything that now it is more acceptable for children to see breasts in lingerie ads, rather than a mother nursing her child! And once you have nursed a child, or 2, or 3, or 4 and those breasts are not where they once were, the pressure to bind them into torturous contraptions or get them altered surgically is huge!
I replied to your article before listening to your song. I love your voice here! I do enjoy your didge tunes, but the emotion in your voice is so beautiful. I love that you added your beatboxing. Great work as always brother!
hey I dug your article in one sense. it showed the harsh reality of caring too much what society deems as appropriate. and it's true, beauty is an attitude, a belief in oneself.
yet theres another side here that you skim over.
people like your ex, no matter how hard they try, just dont understand what it's like not being able to compete in the normal world. they ARE able to compete in that hollywood world, or not. they might have some challenges and struggles, but they have the body, face, mind, physique, personality, talent, whatever. They can choose to struggle - or not.
There are other people who don't have that choice, who never will. They have imperfections, physical conditions or social stigmas that they can never overcome, no matter how hard they work, and the majority of people in this world can and will judge them based on that before even getting to know them.
true, its human nature. people judge. they do so at very deep levels that most people are unaware of.
so my challenge to you is... look at someone who you think is not at all beautiful, someone it hurts to look at, or who you have issues talking with, and get to know them.
Holy smokesssssss what an EPIC musical creation.
So uplifting, relateable, and meaningful. And your voice o myyyy does it deliver the lyrics with such grace, passion, and clarity.
"Come on, come on. you are beautiful."
Absolutely love this and hope that this message of inner beauty can be spread to help so many who are dealing with issues related to this.
And love that beatbox throughout and at the end as well. So much talent.
Thank you for sharing this. This one warmed my heart and gave me hope that we can influence others to realize their self-beauty and not listen to "society's" standards.
Much love and respect.