An Easy Going Kid: A Response to @eco-alex's QOTW
Mum always said I was an easy going kid. Seemed she said it a little more when I had my breakdown a few years back, as if she was affirming I wasn't the type. She didn't mean it that way, I don't think. She just wanted to let me know that it wasn't because of who I was, that I broke. Just that something happened, along the way. Maybe it was something outside of my control. Maybe it was something in my genes that couldn't deal with stress. Maybe it was something chemical. Hell, life probably was - is - stressful, and I hadn't learn to deal with it yet. She just wanted me to know I wasn't an anxious type - I was just going through some anxiety.
Because I was just an easy going kid.
I've been thinking a lot over the last week about my temperament. @eco-alex posed the question, and as usual, it got me thinking. If there was some essential, unchangeable part of who I was, what was that? Had it changed and shifted across time?
Temperament suggests an essential part of who you are. For all the conversation about this this week about temperament changing, that can't happen. By definition, temperament is innate - it's something essentially and quintessentially you - something you are born with. It can't change, because that's the meaning of the word - look it up! It's innate and not learned. You absolutely cannot change your temperament.
If my mother thought I was born easy going, chilled and gentle and loving, what happened to that me? Is it still there? Am I still easy going? Who to ask but my husband. I kinda expected him to scoff, in the way he does when I jokingly say: 'I'm pretty patient, you know', because I'm anything but. I get my wetsuit on and I'm in the water whilst he's still locking up the van. I want what I want and I want it now.
He didn't laugh. Of course I was easy going. It was what he loved about me. Despite all the difficulties I've had with mental health, and the layers of 'me-ness' laid over the top of that essential, easy going me, I was still essentially, innately easy going. Live and let live kinda thing. And oh so loving - one of the things he loves about me IS my loving nature. It's still there. It's never gone away. I'm definitely all about love.
I think I was just born with the good bits - love, and easy goingness. Live and let live and love-ness. I don't get racism, or sexism, and any kind of -isms - they don't make sense to me. I don't care about your history or your wierdness or your sexual proclivities. Whatever, man, as long as you don't hurt anyone I will love the bejesus out of you. People tend to tell me their secrets for this reason. They tell me they just wanted someone who wasn't going to judge them. I find it hard to figure out why people would. My folks are the same. Perhaps it's genetic.
The bits of me that can be unkind, or impatient, or grumpy and short tempered, or intolerant, that's just me forgetting who I am. When I remember I'm being a twat, it's pretty easy to fall back into being love, and being easy going me. It's kinda nice to know I haven't gone away.
I'm an easy going kinda gal.
oh gosh, I loved reading this, and your photos are so perfect! I almost wrote the QTOW and got hung up on things as per usual. I am so glad you wrote yours.
I don't think mine has changed much in 40-ish years. I sure tried to be different for a while but some things can't be forced.
Kind, loving, easygoing ...that's me. I wanted to be fiery, strong, a force of some kind but it never stuck. In spite of a lot of lousy things happening I am still the same at the core so I have to agree that I think our temperament is innate
Aw, I kinda just free wrote without editing. I tried not to over think it but I do think that we have a core temperament.. it's what the word means!
Ah but aren't you Firebird? And there is also a passionate fire you hold for your fam and home. You are many things, but absolutely, there's something that's very core Charlotte. And I love you x
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such wonderful photos, always so nice to see your smiling face xx You are very easy going, very down to earth and real. I know I am saying all this purely from our online friendship but it is not hard to see those qualities in you, for sure no one is perfect, but you you have such a huge heart that reaches out to us all from your writing and all the amazing work you do with naturalmedicine. You are indeed an easygoing, earthmama Goddess and we love you xx
Aw thanks so much beautiful. Xxx They are old photos now.. we need some new ones!!!!
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