Today I created and held a Mother Blessing for my friend, she recently became a mother and I wanted to take the time to acknowledge and honour this transition, from maiden into motherhood, with her and her close friends. There is a huge lack of supportive and creative rituals taking place today in western society, leaving us unprepared for the many rites of passage throughout our lives. When we preform rituals we bring awareness an understanding, we bring clarity and respect to those different stages within our lives.

As a mother myself, I am aware of how scary and lonely you can feel becoming a parent for the first time. You don't always feel comfortable asking for help, as you feel you should know how to care for your baby and in asking for assistance you then would be seen as a failure. There is this belief that we should just get on with things, keep our heads down and keep going. But raising a child should never be seen as the sole responsibility of the parent/parents. Every child should be cared for by the whole community, and by holding mother blessings that wheel is set in motion. That seed is planted and no parent will be left to feel alone. We need to begin, moving towards a future where community is seen as an essential part of life.

I love to create rituals, they are so powerful and they really bring people together. They are such a wonderful way to celebrate one another and the wonderful gift of life, they help us to connect more with nature and ground us so that we can be fully present and focused. A ritual, is what happens when we gather with others or even by ourselves, with a certain frame of mind and heart and focus our attention on a special moment or goal. We preform many little rituals throughout our day, but it is the ones that happen historically to celebrate the different stages of life that we need to take back.

In the past I have always created Mother Blessings for the new mum whilst she was still pregnant, creating a opportunity for them to express any fears, any uncertainties that they may have around birth and motherhood. Inviting their close friends to weave a web of support around them, to hold them, acknowledge them and honour them. To see them, hear them and carry them. Today however was different, today my friend had already birthed her beautiful baby, so the focus was about her journey into motherhood. Her journey into identifying her new self.

I have often heard mothers describe how they felt like they were dying during birth, and it is true, they do. Their old self dies, in order to make way for their rebirth as a mother.

This is a huge transition, yet it is so often over looked, with all the focus being on the baby. We really need to be honouring the rebirth of each women as she emerges as a mother. So that she feels supported and held within her community, so that she does not become overwhelmed and alone in her journey. Because if the mother is supported, then so is the child and these are the foundations we need to be laying down for our children, this is the example we need to be setting for them. This is the world we need to be creating for them.

Today I created a sacred space in my truck, my daughters helped me to decorate and set up the altar, where we placed items that represent the four elements that are a part of us all. We sat in a circle and I performed a grounding mediation, asking those who attended to focus their love and energy on the new mother and to release any negative thinking out into the earth to be recharged. We invited our ancestors to sit with us within the circle, by taking turns to introduce ourselves and our female ancestry. We sang and created a web out of wool which we each tied onto our wrists. This is the web that supports our friend, this web ties us together as we share in the responsibility of raising her child with her.

I had asked each person to make a small flag for the mother, something that reminded them of her and something that would inspire her and bring her comfort. We took turns to sew this onto a ribbon, as we each shared our memories of her and the many strengthens she possesses. There is something very beautiful about being open and sharing from the heart. Many tears were shed and all of us were moved and transformed by this experience. We then sang and laughed and shared our experiences of mothering. <(b>

Reintroducing rituals is one of my passions in life, it is such a necessary part of life and it allows us to connect deeply with ourselves, with others and with nature. If we are to begin to heal ourselves we need to first acknowledge ourselves and then allow others to do so as well.

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