Really good post, @giantbear.
I think that this may very well be one of the most important aspects in the construction of a better, healthier society, and yet, not much attention has been given to the influencial power of self-esteem in the disfunctionality of our societies.
The sad thing is that sometimes you do your best to support your kids and make them feel well with who they are and what they can do; you make them be aware of their talents and possible limitations; you show them by examples how difference is good and how family is germane to their development; and yet, a word or gesture of discouragement at, say, the playground, can be enough to send you back to story-boarding.