About children

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Today I took my daughter from school.

While she waited, she involuntarily listened to the conversation - some girl's mother talked with the teacher. The girl was slowly dressing nearby.

The teacher was unhappy with the girl. He is distracted, he does not like math, he loses pens, he jumps all the time, how many he can jump, because this is a school, not a kindergarten.
Mom listened to the teacher and glared at her daughter.

• Do you hear? Arina, do you hear? Come to us!
  Arina at this time sadly pulled on her lilac jumpsuit. Then she struggled for a long time with the cap, shift, straps of the briefcase, and finally reluctantly came closer.
• Do you understand what we were talking about? You behave badly. I will have to tell everything to my dad.

The girl silently studied her boots. They were lilac too, just like a jumpsuit.

• Dad can come to school, I'll tell him everything myself, - said the teacher.
• Perfectly! Arina, do you hear? Tomorrow dad will come to school! - finished mom triumphantly.

Arina continued to study the boots. She stood opposite her mother and teacher - alone. They - together, on the other hand. On the contrary. White vs red. Or vice versa.

And that's what I think. Of course, I'm not a psychologist. In this particular situation, I am no one at all. I do not know neither mother, nor girl, nor teacher. Neither is it more than a girl's father, who is gathered tomorrow to be driven to school.
But I know one thing.
At that moment when you are united with someone against your child. Let even for a moment, albeit small things, albeit for righteous reason.
At this moment you lose him - the child.

You can not play on the opposite side. Never. Even if the child is wrong a thousand times.
If you are on the same side, then this is your common problem. And you will solve it together.
Otherwise, he remains alone.

All that is needed at this moment is to take the side of the child. Even just physically. Take a step and move your indignant body to the other side. Get up close. Not the opposite - but nearby.
Everything!

We are together. Yes, Houston, we have problems. We lose pens and do not like math. And jump. Houston, are you a Houston or a race horse, how much can you jump?
But we are together.