My Chemistry Teacher Hates Me

Source

Mr Josiah Udoh is my Chemistry teacher. I am convinced he hates me. He has been picking on me for no reason. This morning he came to the class to teach during his lesson period. He wrote the topic on the blackboard:

HARD WATER

"Class, today we are going to take another look at this topic but before I proceed, let's refresh our memory.

"Ifiokobong! Stand up and tell us what you understand by the term 'Hard Water'.

I was caught unawares. 'Why me?' I asked myself. My mind was totally blank. I got up grudgingly.

"Sir...hard water is water that is hard"

"What did you say? He glared at me.

"Hard water is water that is not soft"

The man shook his head in disappointment and took up his long cane'. The look on his face was that of anger.

"Idara, help him. What is hard water?"

"Sir...hard water eh, is the type of water eh, that makes you very strong eh"

"Who is making that noise at the back? Ikpeme! What is hard water?"
Mr Udoh pointed to another student.

Ikpeme is the dullest student in SS1A. He is a permanent backbencher, a position he uses to make noise, disrupt the class and bully younger students.

"Sah?", he began, "Hard water is de...de water that is de...de water"

Mr Udoh adjusted his trouser and swung his cane back and forth as if to test its flexibility. The whole class squirmed in their seats. Today was going to be a bloody day and Mr Udoh had a reputation of being a beast with the cane.

"Can anybody in this class tell us what hard water is?" Mr Udoh asked.
There was no one to save the class. Silence enveloped the room.

Mr Udoh exploded, "What band of ignoramuses am I saddled with this term? I taught you this topic two weeks ago! I asked you to go and read your Ababio textbook for further understanding but obviously, none of you did! You bloody twats! Is this how you are going to study to write waec and pass? Everybody go down on your knees!"

We were doomed. Some students began begging for mercy. Imabong at the front row was already whimpering, she would be the first to face the fury of the cane.

Pang! Pang! Pang!

The bell for break time rang. Mr Udoh gazed at his wristwatch and hissed.

"You are lucky today. I will come back tomorrow and God help you all if you cannot define Hard water for me"

He stormed out of the class. We heaved a sigh of relief and began chattering excitedly as we milled out of the classroom.

There were no lessons for the rest of the day as the school was in the season of March past Practice in preparation for the upcoming Children's Day celebration on 27th May. The event would be held at the big stadium. Our school has a reputation for always clinching the first position in the march past competition and we can't afford to soil that record this year.

The band boys were already drumming while the students stood in lines singing and marching to the different songs.

"Oh when the saints
Go marching in
Oh when the saints go marching in
Oh I want to be in that number
When the saints go marching in"

Our teachers supervised the marching groups. They gave out instructions and orders.

"Left-right! Left-right!"

"Mark time or I will whip you!"

"Left-right! Left right
Halt one two!
Left-right! Left-right!
Forwarrrrd march!"

We marched along the field. We poked fun at a Jss3 student nicknamed efud abang. He got the name because he has big buttocks. Whenever he marches, his buttocks move in a clumsy and funny way.

After 30 minutes of practice, I was thirsty, so I took permission from the instructor to go to the canteen to buy water to drink.

I saw Roselyn walking out of the canteen. Roselyn is my crush. She is a new student, she came in about three weeks ago. She is in Ss1c and is very pretty. Her skin glows. She has firm breasts that strains to burst out from her blue blouse. I have been dreaming of touching them. Anytime I see her, my heart skips a beat and I become weak. I have been intending to disclose my love for her to her but I have never had an opportunity to do so. But, today we were alone and I had to seize the golden opportunity.

"Hello Roselyn," I said with a smile.
"Hi, how did you know my name?" She smiled sweetly at me.

"Because I love you and I want us to be friends and..."

I felt a hand grab and pull my shorts from behind. I turned around in alarm to see the stony face of Mr Udoh leering at me.

"Sah..."

"Ifiokobong! Your mates are marching in the field! You are here at the canteen trying to corrupt my friend's daughter"

"Sah, I took permission, I just want to buy water to drink"

"Shut up! Water? Okay, what is hard water? Tell me!" he ordered.

'Damn you and your blasted hard water!" I thought in my mind. How could this man come and spoil the special moment? Roselyn had backed away. She stood at a safe distance and was watching us with an amused smile on her face.

"Hardwater is water that is not soft sah"

"Keep quiet there! How many times do you want me to tell you that hard water is water that does not form lather with soap easily due to the presence of calcium and magnesium compounds either as sulphates or carbonates? You can't remember Cac03 because nothing is in your head. Kneel down here and let me give you a few strokes to help you remember.

Wham!

The cane landed on my back in a flash. I ran away screaming with rage at the stinging pain and at the humiliation in front of Roselyn. I hate Mr Udoh! I hope they transfer him out of this school as soon as possible with his hard water!

Source