I know

NOW I UNDERSTAND
Umi Fadhilah's work

My handphone vibration really makes me dizzy. Emang sihh, not usually I resemble my mobile phone vibration. But this time is really different, very different from usual. Because the vibration that indicates there sms from people who really I love. I know him long enough, I've been face to face with him once, that's just a coincidence. Yunaz is his name. I know her closer only through cyberspace. He also includes my understanding friend. If viewed from the side of his personality, he is quite a dream every girl.

Since yesterday afternoon, he kept sending messages that I think are too romantic. I realize he likes me even more. At the beginning I knew him, I decided to make him a true friend of mine. I started to ask myself why I now started to like it when my initial intentions just wanted to be friends with him, but I have not found the answer to the question arising from my own mind. Not until I found the answer, the vibration of my handphone again bothered me. Again Yunaz sent me a message. He again asked me to be his lover. I'm getting confused to reply. Probably because I gave her too long answer, she gave me blank message 3 times. I was afraid to answer him. If only I could express what I really feel right now to him, surely he would also be happy. But life is not that easy. Life is full of choices. Including to choose a decision to answer the request from him. In fact, I think it's the hardest, most complicated thing I've ever met. I've never had that problem before, so I can not answer it.
"Ready little boss." Gurapa Papa told me.
3 days have passed, today I was allowed home from the hospital. But I can not go to school because I still need a rest to restore my health. I just realized 3 days I did not hold my cell phone that is left in my desk drawer. When I opened it, I was very surprised because so many sms that gaa karuan from Yunaz. He was angry because I 3 days ngilang so aja without saying goodbye. I finally apologized to him, but I made another excuse for Yunaz not to worry about my real situation.

Now I'm back in school. Today I am escorted by my favorite driver, Papa. He is my devoted driver from baby to present. He can also be my friend vent if I again kesel same people, or maybe again there is a problem, because the solution from Papa most siiph. I am proud to have Papa who is very affectionate and caring to his family.

Arriving in front of the class of friends already waiting. Nana is at the front. She greeted me with her smile. I returned the smile back. It turns out that after a long break at home and back in school it feels so different. I miss them so much, especially Nana. He told me when I was hospitalized he had time to visit, but because I was sleeping he gaa dare to wake up. So he prefers to go straight home instead of waiting for hours. Today's lessons are fun and I just star, Sports. This lesson I really like because the benefits are not inferior to other lessons. Kan if the lesson in brain training class, if this exercise lesson train muscle. Today I have not been able to follow him, because today is my first day of school after illness. Too bad..

The class was over, I immediately went to the school gate to wait for Papa with Nana and other friends. I looked to the left right of the school gate, but I did not find Papa picking me up. Not feel the friends who come waiting for the pickup together I gradually picked up, including Nana. But he decided to wait for me to be picked up first. Since it may have been too long to wait, Nana's driver advised me to drive me home. Finally because it was late afternoon, I followed the advice.

This afternoon Papa promised to take me to buy a new book at a bookstore. I asked Mama where Papa was.
"Ma, Daddy where did you pick me up? anyway Papa was also promised to invite Nezti to the bookstore, but really kok even ga .. So be cool ,, "I asked Mama
"Gini Nez, Papa had called to Mama if Papa had a sudden meeting in the office. Actually earlier sempet home and want to pick you up but the time mepet. So sorry if Papa today do not pick you ya Nez. Affairs to the bookshop ntar Mama anterin aja ya Nez, all Dede 'want to buy the same color drawing drawing book. "Mama replied so long
"Ok deh Ma, no what. It's important I've come home. Yes, Ma? "I replied to the reason why Daddy picked me up
"Yes dear." Mama answered so briefly, solidly, and clearly.
Yunaz today happens to have to find a book for his schoolwork. I decided to tell where I used to buy books and other supplies and it just so happened that Yunaz knew where he was. All together aja, but gaa may kalo go together.
*in the living room
"How to talk, already finished yet. It looks really cool. Do not you bother Nez? "Papa joked
"Papa what the hell, yes not at all Pa." Answer me
"Yeah Om, even I seneng Om want to nemenin me here with Nezti. Kan if 2 people who are not muhrim alone third devil. So if there is a Gak Om there will be a devil. "Canda Yunaz
"You are intelligent Yunaz." Praise Papa to Yunaz
"Thanks Om." Yunaz replied
"Wahh wahh, already in fun chatting ya, Mama miss dong. Mama join ya! "Mama interrupted
"Please Ma." I replied
"So this is Yunaz, Om deliberately asked you to come here through his Mama Nezti. Because Om want to know what is the true lover of this Om daughter. Om really curious to you. And finally now we can gather here. "Light Papa
"Yes Om. I am happy to meet directly with Om and Tante here. "Yunaz replied

After a long chat, Yunaz asked Papa and Mama for permission to go home because it was late afternoon.
"Om, my aunt said goodbye first. Gaa was already late afternoon. Sometimes if I have time I play again here. "Said Yunaz ask permission
"All right, but before you go home Om aunts love to pesen to you." Papa said
"What message Om?" Yunaz asked so simple
"Om and Tante hope you can keep Nezti as you take care of yourself. And we also hope that you will not play Nezti's heart. Can you do it? "Papa's message to Yunaz
"Insha Allah I am ready Om. I love Nezti. "Yunaz replied confidently
"Thank you Naz, we believe you can." Please Mama
"Yes aunt. Nez, I'll go first. Sometime I want maen again deh "Yunaz said
"Ok Naz, be careful on the road. Do not jump because the streets if the afternoon is crowded. "My love for Yunaz
"Yeah Nez, I'm going to be careful. First Nez. Assalamu'alaikum Nezti. Mari Om, Tante "Yunaz said as he left
"Wa'alaikumsalam" Answer Papa, Mama, and me in unison
It's been almost a year since I've been in love with Yunaz. I have now occupied high school level. I'm glad that I can still go to school with my best friend from junior high school, Nana. Not even one school, we also one class and one. My days in high school are great, I can socialize with the world out there. But I'm still with my beloved Yunaz who always guides me so as not to turn from the rails of my life. I feel the more I understand the meaning of sincerity more and more. I realized how much Yunaz cared about me. I am grateful to have family and lovers like this. They are so dear to me and never hurt my feelings.

This morning I felt something stuck in my heart, I suddenly wanted to get away from my dear, Yunaz. I feel this is really strange, I finally decided to take her out of the house today. Coincidentally he was having time loose. I want to take her to a place where she does not know her. In a place that can make me so calm when there is a problem.

At 9 am I came out with Yunaz. I pointed toward the place. After about 15 minutes Yunaz and I arrived at the place I mean. Yunaz did not think I could find a place like this. Though behind it, I have compiled it since I have a disease that might make my life shorter. I immediately revealed my purpose to bring him here. I'm a little hesitant to say it, but I do not want to be late to say it. After Yunaz heard the words coming out of my mouth He looked so sad, angry, disappointed, they all became one in Yunaz's expression. I really can not bear to see it, but I am more and more unbalanced He lost me with such painful circumstances that may be more painful than this

After one week I broke up with Yunaz I re-entered the hospital. I really feel my age is running out. I gave Mama a message, to let Mama open a drawer on my desk when the time came. Mama knows what I mean. I immediately got into a room that was so cold, maybe even colder than when I was in Korea during a family vacation. My body feels so shivering and hard to move. I'm so confused why I'm being like this, I think my illness has become unfriendly to me anymore.

Perhaps this is His will, I heard a chat between Mama, Papa, and the doctor. But I do not understand whether I'm conscious or not.
"Doc, how is my daughter doing. Please do anything to help him Doc "Mama's cry
"Yes dock, please Nezti. He can be saved Doc. Please doctor try hard Dock. I want to see him happy Doc. I do not want her to feel any pain in her body. "Dad said
"Well, but the chance to save Nezti is very small because the brain tumor that attacked him has been enlarged and very dangerous." Firmly Doctor
I heard all that, I understand what my illness really is. But behind all this, I already know the news from the first. Papa and Mama probably deliberately hide it from me to keep me tough. I understand what they mean. They love me so much that they hide the bad news from me.

Suddenly Mama yelled for a doctor, I heard her but I did not understand what was going on. I had time to recall Yunaz. He has been happy with his new boyfriend, I'm glad he can find my successor so quickly that he did not so long dissolved in kesediNaz for losing me.
"Mama, Yunaz." I say softly
"Yes dear, Yunaz will come here. He's on the road again. "Mama's Light
"He is happy with his new boyfriend, I am happy with Ma. I also want to meet Nana "My expression is more quiet or almost inaudible
"Yeah Nezti. Be patient, dear. Nana will come here too. Soon to come back. "Mama said as she cried
"Do not cry Pa, Ma. Nezti sad to see you crying. "I cry too. I wish I could spend more time with them, besides them
"Nezti,"

I heard someone call me.
"Nezti, I love you Nez, I want to lose you" Yunaz cried
"Naz, I love you too. Take care of your girlfriend well, like you jagain me first. I'm proud of you Naz. "I cry
"Nezti .." Yunaz cried
"Nezti, I'm here Nez." Sapa Nana kindly
"Na, I miss you." I said
"The spirit continues ya Na." I continued
"Nezti, I still want to be your best friend. You're my best friend Nez. "Light Nana

The tears of Yunaz's tears touched my hand. I feel like I want to spend more time with my dear ones. But I can not avoid fate
"Naz, do not cry. I'm sad if you're sad. "I cry
"Nezti, I love you Nez. Nezti .. "Yunaz cried more

Tiiiiiit .....
"Nezti ..." everyone around me was crying
I understand their feelings right now. They are very sad. Mama opens the drawer on my desk. Mama found so many envelopes. There are many names that the letter addressed. There are Mama, Papa, Dede ', Yunaz, and Nana.
They read the letter each. And I'm glad now that they understand what I mean all along. Especially Yunaz, now he understands why I decided it first.

~ THE END ~