Growing Up in Foster Care.......... And How it Effects Your Relationships.
I have decided to start sharing in more detail
my experiences of growing up in the
foster care system
my experiences of growing up in the
foster care system
I believe these accounts and others like them to be of huge importance if we are ever going to convince the masses that THIS SYSTEM DOESN'T WORK and it MUST be replaced.
https://steemit.com/familyprotection/@markwhittam/surviving-foster-care
In my last post about the detrimental effects of growing up in Foster care I told you all about 'The Wall' and how building one, is the only way to counteract being massively let down by society.
The only thing is! once you've built that wall, it becomes much harder to form any kind of relationship whatsoever, even family members are off limits when you have a wall so it's easy to become detached.
As you can imagine, after such a long time of shutting everybody out it starts to have a serious effect on your ability to experience such pleasures as love, true friendship, trust, or any other relationship that requires you to let your guard down, deep inside you are totally isolated but on the surface you just about pass off as normal, in a hectic, messed up world where no one has time to give a fuck, unless their getting paid to do so.
Lost soul's who don't know how to be helped because they have no idea how to bring down that wall, isolated human beings standing right in front of you, and your to busy worrying if their going to rob you instead of reaching out and helping our fellow man in desperate need of help.
I some how made it through foster care, homelessness, drug addiction, gang fights, police sells, courts, hostels, drop in centres, soup kitchens and managed to make something of myself, it was a long hard battle but I pulled it off.
The first time I felt love after all them years was a scary feeling, at first I thought I was having a panic attack or some kind of anxiety, but after a while I realized it was true love.
And although I made it, I still can't rest at ease, knowing that there are so many lost brothers and sisters out there.
I always give to the homeless when I pass because I still see them for what they are, scared, lonely humans with a world full of hurt in their hearts.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article and next time I will be writing about abuse in foster care and care homes.
The point of this series is not to shock, blame or shame, it's to open peoples eye's up to what really happens to children who get lost in the system, It seems so easy for people nowadays to ring the cps, even on family members in the belief that cps will solve the problem and the child will be in safe hands.
With @familyprotection, I, and many other people are coming forward to share their experiences so that the world can start to see what devastation can be caused by removing a child from the care of its parents, please continue to support these stories as I believe we can really make a difference and hopefully start to change peoples trusts and belief in a caring CPS.
This post has been Resteemed and Upvoted by @familyprotection
are using "Child Protection Agencies"
to take children away from loving families
and place them in foster care or group homes
or put up for adoption.
THESE FAMILIES NEED PROTECTING.
Thank-you @markwhittam for supporting @familyprotection
I've never let anyone inside the wall- except my children and grandchildren. I manage to get along in society by aping what everyone else does but I've never felt anything toward them... I have to fake it. The closest thing to love I've ever experienced was toward my children. Great post- good that you're opening up- it helps with the pain!
One day, my friend!
All wall, borders, barriers and bars will be a thing of the past, and the light will shine through.
For me, and for you!
One day!
Beautifully said my friend! Your story touched off a memory I had buried, or at least filed away... when you spoke about addiction. I always focus on what happened more than the effect it has later. I'll post it later. (By the way- there's a message on steem.chat)
Hi! Back again after a long time... how are you? :) I read this and all I could think was how I've always thought you were a great person and how lucky I've been to know you through Steemit... but after reading this my affection has gone up several, several more notches. You've had such a difficult past, one we'd not wish on any child, and yet you've made sure you've turned out great. I totally respect the amount of self learning and motivation and will power that would have all taken. You have made a life for yourself... you've come very far. And what you are doing now to help others is totally heart warming. I wish you a very long life and much success always and forever. Love and hugs - @sandzat
Thank you @sandzat,
Great to see you back! The last few months have been quite exciting, the response we have received for @familyprotection has been unbelievable and I really think we can help people with this in the very near future.
I look forward to catching up with you!
Thanks for checking in.
I'm sorry you had to go through all that, must've been...hell. I think it's a very good thing that you're sharing your experiences here, where you can help others.
I guess a lot of people are scared out there and they're fighting hard to pull through, which just goes to show that we shouldn't judge anyone (as long as they're not hurting anyone of course), because we don't know what's going on inside...
I'm so glad you made it and found love and are now happy. I'm sure you deserve it.
Yes, the point is we should not judge or look down on these people, and I would go as far to say, help even those that hurt others, because they are the ones who are hurting the most and have no doubt been through some horrors.
Thank you for your input :)
@markwhittam, you are so right about walls! Any traumatic event or loss of loved ones keys that fight or flight response. In my case, after my son passed away, I chose flight because it felt as if I had no more fight left in me. Working with youth that could have easily been your buddies back in your day, has been more about helping them reach a point to where they no longer needed the walls. You are so fortunate to have made it where you are today!! It takes a hella lot of work to pull yourself out of your cave and decide you are ready to change your life for the better! Just telling your story will encourage others to do the same!!
Thank you @thethreehugs
I hope this helps people see the effects of growing up alone in the world.
And to think that this story is nothing in comparison to what can and so often does happen to children caught up in this system.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
Bless.
Yes, it's pretty sad when you think of it. You are most welcome my friend
This post upvoted and resteemed by @thethreehugs
After reading you I always feel very sorry for you my dear friend ,but at the same time I feel very proud that you are that personality who has the potential and courage to do every fight against the unhealthy system. You and the great lady @Canadian-coconut are contiously helping people for their development. You both are wonderful personalities, I know that if people unite together to fight for the misfortune, the dangerous wave must be changed its way. Thanks for your great effort friends wish you good luck and success.
Thank you @maya7,
You don't have to be sad for me, it's the ones who haven't made it out yet that I worry about.
But hopefully we can start to reach some of these people and more importantly, change people's attitudes towards these lost souls who just need some help.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Thank you for sharing what I know must be hard to share. Too many people have this happy fantasy about the happy, loving, rich but infertile couple that takes in every orphaned or abandoned (or CPS snatched) child in need and they simply must snap out of it. It is not reality.
I was very impressed in your first post of the series with this Wall you built to protect yourself. Never thought about the consequence in terms of future relationships. So glad to know you managed to bring down that wall and have such a happy family now.
By the way, years ago most of our cities had gangs of street children, living extremely rough, but all the stories spoke of the incredible bonds that made them a real family. And, at least, they were not in the system. Now there aren't as many on the streets, but I don't think they're better off. At least, not those that end up in state institutions.
Wow...first of all, thank you for sharing such intimate details of your life; I just joined steemit in December and will need to go back and look at your first instalment because I missed it before. Firstly, I must say what a wonderful platform this is where you can bear your soul and get love and acceptance in return (in fact, my husband is dying of cancer and I just blogged about it b/c I realised how 'safe' this platform is). So kudos to you for opening it, not only here, but for finding the strength to knock down your protective 'wall' or shield in your life and find true love...you certainly deserve it!
Second, I was a high school teacher for years in Canada and unfortunately saw all too often the effects of foster care. You're right when you say the system is broken; I believe it can't be fixed and needs to be scrapped for something entirely new and different...a system that truly sees a child as a person and not simply a file.
Keep up the fight my friend, you are worth it! Cheers!
I hear you Mark, so many people turn a blind eye when they see people on the street, they react like they are something to be feared. We need to start to reach out to people more, stop this behaviour that just widens the division in society. Move away from this time of Ego where people only wish to better themselves.
Thank you for sharing some more with us and I hope you continue to feel safe enough and loved enough to let that wall done further.