Yes, even if we are wrong this is exactly what she needs to hear. She really needs to examine this relationship as hard as it could be for her. I also went through a relationship with my sons father who was also a drunk and that is why it is so easy for me also to see the traits of what I think may be happening here. My kids were never in jeopardy nor have my children or I ever been visited by CPS but that does not mean that our experiences we went through with someone that has similar traits as her husband can't be shared. I'll admit it was really, really hard to finally admit to myself that thinking I could help him was within my control and patience when it wasn't, it was his decision and when confronted with that decision he choose to continue to be a drunk.