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RE: Finish the Story Contest week #21 - My Entry: The Border
Nice writing! I like the original take on the description of what really are the Those!
But...what about the heavy terminator? Your Legionnaire has a sword...and has the mental battle with the That lasted the entire night? In the story beginning it was sunset, and in your ending it's the dawn.
you only gave me 500 words to work with -- I had to scale back 200 words as it is ...you 'll have to fill in some of the blanks - plus I forgot about the Heavy Terminator he had in the beginning - I just assumed that was the name of his sword.. why can't he have a sword AND a terminator? I have to admit - this story is a little outside of my genre , I don't even know what a terminator is .... but I was wanting to flex my creative muscle since it has been a while since I've done any creative writing. As far as the all night mental battle... sure why not? ....besides - watch any action movie - a car chase that starts at night ends with the sun coming up all the time.....anyhow thanks for checking it out - let me submit chapter 2 and I will explain how he simply fell asleep on guard duty all night and had a horrible nightmare..meanwhile the castle was pillaged....
The 500 words are indeed part of the challenge, we know that being both effective and brief is a difficult alchemy.. Don't worry for the questions they're just part of the fact that we truly curate and review the contributions.. keep up the good work and practicing with us ;-)