Dear Diary: A Tale Of The Cornmeal Pancake

Here's my breakfast for today, it is actually a cornmeal pancake with just a bit of flour just to bind it together. It has some milk, eggs, and margarine (because we don't have butter) plus a leavening agent of baking soda, not the powder and my mother just tossed a ton of it for me to eat but of course I could not eat such a monstrosity of a pancake meal so I will just save some for later.

I still have some trouble in eating because of my diminished appetite and I am always thinking of what foods to eat just to to allow myself to enjoy what I would eat and the nutrition that it will give to me and usually I am just forced to eat because I needed to maintain my health as I do have some missions or goals in life to keep and God-willing I want to achieve them all.

So I am trying ways to nourish myself by buying foods that is easy to eat and will give me nutrition at the same time. And next time I will buy another brand of protein shake because the previous one that I had bought doesn't taste good and I am just trying to drink it for the sake of aforementioned reasons.

I just saw a video of this guy who achieved an Arnold Schwarzenegger-like body and I couldn't help but envy because I can't do what he had done, I wasn't blessed with the opportunity and it is painful in my thoughts to realize that the chance was over for me if there were really had been a chance.

But oh well I have my own circus and I am the monkey so I will just run it until I get the near normal level of health condition that I want to achieve so I am just managing the problem at hand and not those that are beyond my control.