7 Reasons Why I Am A Marshmallow

Many people ask me for physiognomical descriptions that I am unable to respond to due to the fact that I don't really share the bone or muscular structure of human beings. The reason is that I'm not human. I'm a marshmallow. This is a hard thing for people to wrap their heads around, but I think that with proper explanation, it's not that hard to understand.

I get thrown so many questions that I'm unable to answer them all, but many of them can be summed up in these 7 points. I hope this helps to clarify the doubts that you had about my nature.

1. I Was Born A Marshmallow

When two little marshmallows love each other, a third marshmallow comes out. There's no need for fornication or strange rituals. Just boop, a marshmallow born from love. My parents came from different bags. They met at a party when multiple bags were opened and poured together into a bowl. It was love at first sight, and I was born in that instant.

I was lucky to escape, but they were eaten. I still carry that weight on my shoulders, but I found new parents, this time humans, who adopted me and gave me a roof to sleep under, safely away from the murdering hordes of marshmallow-eaters.

2. I Have Stayed A Marshmallow

One of the main reasons why I'm still a marshmallow even though a lot of time has passed is that I have not changed my species. I don't know if this is possible, but if it is, it doesn't matter, because it hasn't happened. I am still a marshmallow despite the passing of so many years. Many things change around me and their natures with them, but I have luckily stayed the same.

I don't know what else I could be if I had changed into something else. Maybe if someone pulls my top and bottom part until I'm very stretched, I could become a snake? Or maybe I'll just become a dead marshmallow ripped in twain.

3. I Share The Physiognomical Properties Of Marshmallows

A chicken laid some eggs. Many animals died and their bones and cartilages were mixed together into gelatine. Canes of sugar grew and were chopped and delivered to a factory where sugar was refined after various intensive processes. Usually, orchids would have been used to extract the flavour of vanilla, but in this case, it was made in a factory from various chemicals. A few sunflowers had some oil on them (honestly this one still puzzles me). Then all of that was mixed up into a thick dough that was shaped like me and I was thrown into an oven with thousands of others to finish my creation process.

Apart from that, there was also flour, sugar and something dusty that nobody ever told me what it was, but those are not a part of me and are only residues on my skin from the time I was in the oven. I'm hesitant to believe these last few ingredients because it's only noticeable on the home-oven marshmallows I've met. They are very kind, but rough around the edges, and they are usually made from different ingredients. They're also more caramel-coloured. I'm all yellow, blue, pink and white, a perfect factory marshmallow.

4. I Taste Like A Marshmallow

This one is not as mysterious as the others. I have never tasted myself, but I'm told I taste like a marshmallow, so I guess I'm pretty normal in that respect given that I'm a marshmallow. On the other hand, I also have a bit of a floury texture due to the thin flour that stayed on my skin.

5. I Look Like a Marshmallow

I am still reluctant to share a picture of myself, but this is a picture of others that share my ethnicity:

6. I Smell Like A Marshmallow

Ok, so I can't back this one up either. I don't know how marshmallows smell. I can't smell myself. Can you? I think we get accustomed to our own smells. However, I am also told that I smell like a marshmallow, so it must be true, unless they're lying, which I doubt.

7. I'm Marshmallow-Sized

Really, I'm just about three centimetres tall. It's a bit hard to use my electronic devices, but I manage by hopping around on them. It takes a lot of time to write like this, but at least I can do it and I share my ideas with you guys. :) Being big like a human and having fingers would be awesome, though, so congratulations on being a human!

I'm sure there are many other reasons why I am a marshmallow, but these are the ones I could think of right now.