Freewritten: parental guidance

Free-write subject; Mom and Dad

I shouldn’t have been so absurd with the way I took my chances. I knew that if I had been or was better with how I took care of our interactions maybe I’d be more loved. If there was ever a time to have been made more aware of this wish it was with mom when I was younger. Not having a blood father around was a hard blow early on. Even these days if I see a post about someone being loving with their dad I smile sweet for a moment but I immediately have to turn it off. It hurts. I can’t help but drag my feet in the muddy waters of what could have been. But I’ll never forget what my mother did for me and her sacrifice through the pain I know that she’s been through. Hell, I was part of a lot of it. In the basis on growing up I think I’d like to see the love I was given re-administered to my own son or daughter. There’s a lot of good for us. There’s a lot of bad. But at least I know I had some of both. Wearing on these old shoulders is a sturdy weight, but somehow it keeps me balanced  whenever I seem to want to fall apart. And the vines of what lives from that split family tree are strong.

Thanks @mariannewest @wandrnrose7