Simon's Untimely Death

Hilda is the lady next door. She's an older woman with only a few teethe left. The talk around the neighborhood is that when Hilda's husband, Simon, died suddenly at 80 years old, Hilda didn't bother to call the police after he died.

Simon was sitting in his chair watching TV. Hilda went about her daily life as she always had getting up in the morning and making breakfast, making sure to make coffee just the way Simon liked it and preparing him a small breakfast of toast and orange juice with a small egg. Four or five plates had built up next to the chair that Simon didn't bother to eat, but it didn't even occur to her to question why he never ate other than to say, "Simon aren't you going to put those dishes in the sink? I work all day long around here taking care of the place cooking and cleaning. I expect you to at least put your plates in the sink!"

Simon never was a talker, so it wasn't unusual to her that he didn't answer her back. She was so used to being in the same routine day in day out that it really didn't occur to her to ask him if he was okay.

When there started to be a very bad odor coming from his chair, she said, "Simon, it's time for you to take a shower."

She turned on the shower on and it ran for days and Simon never got up to take a shower, but her ability to track time had long since escaped her.

When the shower started to leak onto the bathroom floor and into the hallway she finally went in and shut off the shower but Simon was still smelling and this time pretty bad.

Finally the little boy who delivered papers came to the door one day accept his payment for the week. When Hilda opened the door the huge smell escaped the house. The boy started coughing and gagging and looked at Hilda in Surprise and said, "Hilda, it really smells in here!"

Hilda laughed and looked at the little boy as she counted out the dollar bills, all crumpled and handing them to the little boy she replied, "Oh, I think that is Simon's dragon breath! He always has dragon breath in the morning. Thank you for the newspaper," and she closed the door.

The next day, the police came to the door and said that they were following up on a report regarding a strong odor coming out of the house. Opening the door, Hilda let the nice policeman in. The policeman started to cough and gag and she led them to the living room.

When they got arrived in the living room the policemen saw the TV still on and all the trays of breakfast food rotting. Simon's head had not moved and his eyes were still open
The one policeman took a second to check Simon's pulse and pronounced him dead.

Poor Hilda was questioned and she said, "I'm so sorry! I didn't know! Simon never was a talker and he liked his TV."

The policeman believed her and had somebody come from the funeral home and Simon was taken away to be buried. Everybody understood that Hilda really didn't have a clue!

Thanks to Marius Christensen for making this photo available freely on @unsplash 🎁 https://unsplash.com/photos/jZrGIkIUJxA

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