FREEWRITEMADNESS DAY #4: LET'S SEE WHERE IT GOES FROM HERE

Day 4 of the #freewritemadness. My word count went up today. I will try to put in more work tomorrow. However, there is just too much on my plate as I mentioned in my previous post. But I am hopeful I will see better days.

So if don't know about #freewritemadness, it is a contest where I and 16 other participants aim to pen 50,000 words in the month of November. The other participants are as follows (please show them some love by upvoting and commenting on their post):

@amelin
@botefarm
@felt.buzz
@grow23
@improv
@kaelci
@kaerpediem
@linnyplant
@mariannewest
@ntowl
@stinawog
@carolkean
@byn
@kipswolfe
@bennettitalia
@aislingcronin

Synopsis:

This is work/novel is going to be a compilation of different short stories I will be writing this month.

DRAFT #4
Life has a very funny way of toying with your emotions. It leaves you alone to drown in your sorrow and then at that very moment when you want to give it all up, at that it very last moment when you can't but just cave in life it lends a helping hand. And when it seems like you've regained your strength it let's go without warning. And back into the pool of misery, you go, without a clue as to why it saved you in the first place. A meaningless rigmarole--life. I curse the day I was born.

You see life has played one of its many tricks on me. There is something about this experience that cuts deeper than anything I have ever felt before the now. I was alone in my misery, I had accepted my fate, so why did life raise my hopes up only to dash it again? It's been over a year and I'm still unable to let go of my grief. I have tried, believe me, I have tried. Most night I stay up crying my heart out to a God I hope would provide me answers to my question. The most important being: why me?

I do not know who I might have offended but that's not enough to justify the calamity that befell I and my household. In one day--just one phone call changed my life forever.

I lost my two boys in a car crash. The same car crash that almost claimed the life of my husband. If you ask me now, I wish he had died that day. I do not say this out of malice but for the love, I had for him. Death was far a greater mercy than the life he is living.
Ifeanyi survived the accident but lost one of his legs in the process. Now he sits in his wheelchair by the window staring aimlessly at nothing. He hasn't said a word in over a year. The doctor says it is due to the trauma from the incident. They advised me to be patient with him. That would have been easy if he lets me help him. He resists me every effort to help him. Every time I try he gets angry and starts throwing things at me. Am I to blame for his reckless driving or the death of our sons?!

Sometimes he even goes for days without eating. The only person he even tries to respond to is his sister, Martha and that hurts because I'm his wife. I'm entitled to his pain. We are supposed to grieve today. But I'm alone. My husband is alive but I'm still alone. The only person in the world who can relate with my pain has decided to shut me out completely.
It hurts.

I've sort comfort in the arms of another man. I know, I know...but just hear me out. I did not intend for this to happen. It's just one of the things grief does to you--it makes you vulnerable. His name is Charles and he happens to be the owner of the school where I work. It's a bit complicated because he is married.

Charles has a wife and four lovely children, one of which is my student. I know I should feel bad betraying my husband's trust and breaking another woman's home but I'm not. I'm not in love with Charles if that's worth anything. He is only my means of escape until Ifeanyi recovers. But wait, there is something else.

I'm pregnant. I have been for the past two weeks now. I've told no one yet. I don't know how Charles will take the news. He has been talking about starting a relationship. He wants us to get married after he divorces his wife, whom he claims not to love anymore. Telling him about this pregnancy will only make him more determined to see this through. But I don't love Charles. I don't want this child to be an opportunity for him to be part of my life. And Ifeanyi, I really don't know what I feel for him either. I can't even begin to imagine what this news will do it for him. I see in his eyes the guilt and resentment he harbors for himself. I do not want to contribute to his pain.

But I want this baby. I know he may never replace Mike and Junior but this might just be the push I need to move forward with my life. I feel so trapped in this house with Ifeanyi; I feel trapped in an affair with a man
I do not love; I feel trapped in my grief. I need a means of escape and this child is my ticket out of here.

I'm leaving. It's only a thought but the more I think about it everything the more it appeals to me. A new life with my child, far away from this chaotic life. But before I go I must do one last thing.

---

"Martha."

"Aunty"

"I am taking your brother for a drive."

"Okay ma"

"But before I do that, please take this money and get me some toiletry, we are running out of stock."

"Alright, ma."

"Are you done the cooking?"

"No aunty, the food is still on the cooker."

"Then be fast before it gets burnt"

Martha rushes off to get the toiletries, leaving Ifeanyi and Kome alone in the living room.

"Darling..." Kome bends to touch Ifeanyi's laps, "I have something to tell you okay? We are going on a
short trip and I will tell you everything, I promise I won't hold back anything."

She plants a kiss on his forehead. For the first time in a year, he looks her in the eye. There is a long cold
silence and then she got up to walk away.

"Sorry."

Kome turns, eyes still wide open. Certainly, she did not hear right.

"I am sorry, Kome."

For a moment where she thought she was dreaming. The man who had failed to speak to her for over a year now opens his mouth and the first word he says is sorry? Sorry for what? But my anger subsides. Just looking the gives me cause to be worried. Just standing there in the living room paralyzed by fear, I can't help but feel sorry for my husband. Only if he knew.

I am sorry to Ifeanyi, please forgive me

to be continued

Today's word count: 1077
Total word count: 4256
Remaining: 45744

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