Real Talk About Friends On Steem... Or Lack Thereof

I think it's fitting to view a social media interface like Steem as a means to meet and build meaningful friendships with likeminded people.

F*ck upvote loops or political affiliates who use each other for personal gain -- not to be found when times are tough.

I'm talking about relationships with REAL people with interesting lives, character and values, who are emotionally willing and capable of having normal healthy friendships outside of a simple blockchain experience.

^These people seem to be getting harder to find on Steem these days, but I appreciate EVERY single one there is... even if we haven't crossed paths yet.

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It doesn't appear that many approach Steem this way... unless comment replies, talk shows, and discord chats are them living their best social butterfly versions of their web alias selves. That's fine if so, but I think most of us have far more to offer, and in ways where privacy isn't completely compromised (a potential fear).

I think it's odd that people can post their personal lives publicly, and comment about personal things for the world to see, interacting with acquaintances and strangers all over the planet... yet the same people seem to be worried/frozen about the risks/awkwardness of exchanging cell phones, talking off chain or discord, or spending time in the real world, even with people they've regularly interacted with (albeit reactively) on Steem.

Why are so many people so damn shy or scared around here? Has social media and our little Steem bubble here caused our social/interpersonal skills to regress that much?

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My Objective:

Building relationships has been my primary goal in hanging around for the past 2 years. I've invested in SteemFest 3 and the Global Block Builders conference in Austin trips to prove that.

Opportunities to meet aren't common, but I've made effort to meet one friend nearby twice, and their family, because I want them to know I respect them as a person. I've tried to set up the same with a few others near and far, offering to do the legwork, and... radio silence. That just feels normal to me to pursue, but perhaps it's wrong to think it's the same for others these days.

I've tried to engage countless others all over Steem and Discord, include them in my humor videos, photoshopped pics and creative works, sincerely engage with them on their blogs, encourage them to grow as individuals, let them know they have an audience that cares, and offer help over the years... I even ran a daily fitness challenge for ~160 consecutive days that had an army of 50 Steemians involved before actifit took the manual human out of fitness. Yeah, that's a mouthful. Now imagine me doing most of this consistently for 2 years...

At this point, it feels like the return I'd anticipated from that effort is sorely lacking. I don’t ask for much. Maybe a hello now and again??

It feels thankless, but I'd never let a few rotten eggs change my drive to find more quality people. Perhaps people are expertly skilled at being fake for votes and attention, when they need something, are too busy, or simply don't care. Whatever the reasons may be, it doesn't feel that anywhere near the same level of respect and kindness has been returned. I've sensed the same frustration from the blogs and comments of some other Steemians over time as well. It stinks.

Where did our manners go? When is ok to ignore genuinely nice people like they’re invisible? Thankfully, there ARE a handful of wonderful people who are exceptions, but it's a thin crop.

I've even sent/offered several people thoughtful gifts to try to build friendships and trust without blinking an eye at the cost, and would meet a Steemian in a heartbeat if they asked to meet in my city. I'm excited to make connections with people who have common interests. It’s not a chore. I've also made significant strides to help people on Steemit and Discord, or just to ask how they're doing. You know, just being nice without any hidden agenda. Again, this just feels normal.

Am I too old fashioned? Am I missing something? Am I an idiot?

Some people seem to get it (for a bit until they fizzle out), but most don't. Almost none seem to return the gestures, which is surprising because I'm respectful and often try to lift people up/offer help. I've met many in person, some more than once, so it just feels strange to me to have these artificial walls up in a proverbial social rut...

It sort of feels like this:

I'm not an investor here yet, and sure as hell am not here for the riches, so trying to build relationships with seemingly good people seems like the best investment to me.

Where are others with the same mindset? I really don't know.

If people prefer to stay in their bubble suits, dabbling in amateur politics, gossiping, bickering, drama-seeking, flag wars, verbal abuse, and low-impact interactions, so be it.

If you'd like more and see the bigger picture, feel free to let me know below.

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I know that privacy is important, but a few years of chatting/meeting with various people on public and personal levels should be enough grounds to expand outside of these fairly rudimentary walls.

How many people have you traded cells or emails with, or actually text/talk to on the phone like normal friends would? Whatsapp makes it pretty easy.

...On average, probably not many, if any at all. If so, is it real talk about your lives and things that matter? Are you growing real friendships with Steemians (humans) outside of your computers?

I'm not interested in begging anyone here. I've learned enough about who I've come across to know who is sincere and who is full of it. Sometimes I play along to make sure, but it doesn't hurt to double check.

To those who proactively go out of their way to show respect and build friendships, and help others... thank you very much.

@steemmatt

My recent post on Bitcoin leverage vs Steem.