Tips for taking good pictures of the moon at nightsteemCreated with Sketch.

in #funny6 years ago (edited)

But why should we listen to you, Brandt?


What makes you an authority on taking good pictures of the moon at night?

Good questions! I figured someone might be asking, so I went ahead and put together a comprehensive list of my qualifications:

  • I’ve taken four photographs of the moon at night.

All right, let’s get started!


good moon picture 1.jpg


1. Move to Leadville, Colorado.


The first thing you’re gonna want to do is drop everything and move to Leadville, Colorado.

I know this might sound a bit rash, but if you're serious about taking good pictures of the moon at night, there’s really no better place in the world to do it than Leadville.

So ask yourself:

How badly do I want to take good pictures of the moon at night?


I know you'll make the right decision.

Once you arrive in town, I'd be more than happy to recommend not one but two great local coffee shops with free Wi-Fi where you can go edit your good moon-at-night pictures before uploading them to Steemit.

There are only two coffee shops in Leadville.

Which isn't a lot, but if you consider the fact that the number of coffee shops in town has literally doubled in the past couple years, well, that's really starting to sound like progress! You're going to love it here.


good moon picture 2.jpg


2. Avoid the urge to take your moon pictures during the day.


This tip is super important!

A lot of people, especially the super-newbie night-moon photographers, talk about how they feel this almost uncontrollable urge to just start shooting at random anytime they see the moon come out.

That's normal. It happens. Start preparing yourself for it now, because it will happen to you.

And when it inevitably does happen, just remember, the moon doesn't only come out at night. Sometimes it comes out during the day, too — and there’s a pretty big difference between night and day!

It's simply not possible to get any decent night photos of the moon during the day.


Not even the pros can pull it off. Trust me, I've tried! Many times! So you might as well just take a deep breath, resist the temptation, and save your energy.

Fortunately, you shouldn't ever have to fight that urge for very long, because here in Leadville night comes almost every day without fail, and it’s a highly predictable occurrence. I honestly can’t remember the last time night didn’t come. It’s really been that long since we missed a night.

Oh, and when you get to Leadville, I can meet you at one of those coffee shops I mentioned and give you more detailed advice about timing and all the best spots where you’re guaranteed to get the highest quality night.


good moon picture 3.jpg


3. Always make sure you're downwind from the moon.


This one should be obvious, but I had to include it because you get all kinds of nutjobs here on Steemit.

Stay downwind!


The moon is super jumpy and it'll bolt if it catches even the tiniest whiff of your wretched putrescent humanity.

Anyhow, I do hope you'll let me know when you're in town! We can totally go out in the historic mining district some night and I'll show you how to tell which direction the wind is blowing from.


good moon picture 4.jpg


4. Don't even think about going outside if the moon is full.


If the moon is full, you're gonna want to just set that camera aside and spend the night inside painting little stars on your fingernails. Trust me on this one.

Do not go outside.


Unless you really want to get chased around and beaten to pieces and then probably tossed down an open mineshaft by a gang of rambunctious ghosts.

A lot of people died around here back in the good old placer and hardrock mining boom days. Most of them were crazy. Most of them died violent deaths, and most of them decided to stick around and haunt the place. Basically what I'm saying is, every last one of these good-for-nothing godawful devilspawn led a really rough life up here in the high country, and they’re all still here leading really rough, really wild afterlives.

Full moon nights are their party nights. Seriously, just stay inside if you have any intention of lasting more than a month in Leadville as a grapher of good moon photos at night. We can stay inside together! I'll show you on a map exactly where all those open mineshafts are!

5. Finally, make sure you’re not accidentally taking a picture of this thing instead of the moon:


this thing.jpg


Did you accidentally take a picture of that thing?

Don’t be embarrassed.


It’s an easy mistake to make!

I’ve done it myself, on more than one occasion, actually.

Just try to remember this:

If it looks like a big ugly statue of a cowboy riding a giant pissed-off fish for God only knows what reason

… then it’s probably not the moon at night, and you should just walk away.

Well, that's all the tips I got!

Thanks for reading!

If you’re a professional photographer and know of any tips I left out, feel free to add them in the comments below. I’m sure I missed one or two.

Happy night moon photographing!

Hey! You should come live in the Two Mile High City!

It’s hard to breathe up here and everyone has pulmonary hypertension!

But oh my god the night-moon pictures are just out of this world!

Come to Leadville!

I'll show you around and we can take pictures of the moon at night together!

It'll be FUN!!


※ 🌙 ※ 🌙 ※ 🌙 ※ 🌙 ※ 🌙 ※ 🌙 ※ 🌙 ※ 🌙 ※ 🌙 ※


Hello from the high Rockies of Colorado. My name is Brandt, pleased to meet you. I’m a marketing copywriter. I live in a little ghost town called Leadville. If you like mountains, snow, jokes, running, hiking, breathing, not working, etc., then you and I have a lot in common. Thanks for stopping by, and have a lovely day!

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I used iPhone to take a picture of the moon while pointing the lens through a telescope, and you could see every detail. It was amazing. I need to try, and find that image.

That's an interesting idea! Sounds like it's time for me to buy a telescope.

TBF, you can see the moon during the day sometimes. Photos probably aren't very dramatic though.

This pro photographer approves this post. Nailed it! Great advice, I even learned something new. Super embarrassed too, guilty of taking daytime moon photos...

Hey, don't feel too bad, it's an easy mistake to make. 😄

Why is the man in the moon riding a giant fish? Everything I thought I knew about the moon has been replaced. Thank you.

Sorry about the shit vote today. My voting power needs a good recharge but I'm still trying to get to as many people as I can.

Don't apologize man! Thank you for upvoting my stuff, and keep spreading around your voting power to as many awesome Steemians as possible! This platform needs to make a shift away from crappy spam and trending bullshit (which you just posted about), and you're helping make that happen. 🙂

I don't know what's going on with the man in the moon. I found him in Rifle, Colorado. He seemed kind of weird to be honest.

Terrific post and funny! Congrats on being featured on Pixresteemer's Daily Spotlights! :)

You're very welcome!!

Always make sure you're downwind from the moon.

That's what I've been doing wrong!

Really funny post @brandt, I really enjoyed it!

Thank you!

I've met so many people who just didn't have a clue about that tip! I'm sure you'll get it right next time.

Love your humor, amigo! Keep it going

Thanks @nameless-berk! Don't worry, my humor is like the Energizer Bunny, so you know it'll just keep going and going! At least until the batteries die.

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