Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 9
Hello, guys! This is the 9th part of my series post about Filipino jokes translated for Western audiences. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, and part 8 if you have not read them already.
The crypto bear market was getting me down so I decided to revive this silly old post series of mine. I hope that you are amused by it.
There are still a lot more funny jokes that need translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.
So please enjoy and Steem on!
The Clean Up
One day an enterprising vacuum cleaner salesman was pitching his product to a tough-looking homeowner.
VACUUM SALESMAN: Good morning, Sir! I have the ultimate vacuum cleaner that can clean any kind of dirt in seconds without any trace left! Here, let me show you!
The salesman immediately spreads some dirt, dog and cat poop and garbage on the house floor much to the homeowner's surprise.
VACUUM SALESMAN: Now, if my ultimate vacuum cleaner can't clean it all up in seconds. I am going to EAT ALL of that dirt, shit and garbage until your floor is spotless!
TOUGH HOMEOWNER: Good!!! You better start eating now because we don't have electricity! I forgot to pay the bill yesterday!
The Plan
ANNA: I am warning you! If you're planning something naughty...My daddy is going to come home in an hour!
JOHN: What??? But I haven't done anything to you!
ANNA: That's why if you are planning doing something naughty, please hurry up!
Funeral Rites
CARETAKER: Good morning, Father. My employer, who is currently abroad, has instructed me to request you to hold a funeral Mass for his pet dog which died yesterday at his home here.
PRIEST: I am sorry, my son. The Catholic Church has decreed that only dead people, not dead animals, are given the privilege of a funeral Mass.
CARETAKER: Is that so? Well, I guess I'll have to send back the 500 Dollars he sent to pay the fee for a funeral Mass.
PRIEST: 500 Dollars! Wait! You didn't mention that the dog was Catholic!
The Parrot
Every day a talking parrot was always insulting a tough laborer who always passed by the house.
TALKING PARROT: Hey you...UGLY MAN! Hey you...UGLY MAN!
TOUGH LABORER: Damn you, parrot! The next time I hear that from you, I am going in there to smash your beak to pieces!
The next day...
TALKING PARROT: Hey you...!
TOUGH LABORER: WHAT??? WHAT IS IT?!?
TALKING PARROT: Hey you...I KNOW YOU KNOW BY NOW!
The Past Tense
MOM: Dear, how did your first date go?
TEEN DAUGHTER: It's okay, Mom! It went well. I am going to write about it in my diary today!
MOM: That's good, dear.
TEEN DAUGHTER: Mom, what is the past tense of virgin?
Translated from Source: https://youtu.be/u0LkCB6UbGk
Follow me as @darthnava: "Steem On till the Steem rises!"
@darthnava you got upvote
You got a 5.66% upvote from @upmewhale courtesy of @darthnava!
Earn 100% earning payout by delegating SP to @upmewhale. Visit http://www.upmewhale.com for details!
You just planted 0.10 tree(s)!
Thanks to @darthnava
We have planted already 4820.40 trees
out of 1,000,000
Let's save and restore Abongphen Highland Forest
in Cameroonian village Kedjom-Keku!
Plant trees with @treeplanter and get paid for it!
My Steem Power = 20512.31
Thanks a lot!
@martin.mikes coordinator of @kedjom-keku