The Cheap-Ass Gaming Garbage Man Reviews: Call of Duty: WWII

I see him in my scope. I fire. Miss.

I fire about thirty more rounds from my submachine gun into everything that surrounds my target.

My target then turns, aims, and fires one shoot into my forehead, killing me instantly.

I revive infuriated, ready to extract revenge. I switch over to my combat shotgun and load in the dragon’s breath shells, which I am definitely certain they had available during WWII.

I coast over to the left of the map, sweeping up the corners with a shower of sparks and flames, my targets screaming in burning agony.

I continue on until I have cleared their spawn area, causing them to begin reviving on the other side of the map.

It’s all good. I’m just a strong African American woman firing off shotgun shells loaded with incendiary ammunition during WWII.

This is my call. My Call to Duty.

I’ve been down with Call of Duty for a while now. Sure, it gets knocked for how huge and predictable it can be, just like an annual Madden. But the reason it’s huge is because it’s good. Dependably good.

I held off on purchasing this newest re-iteration of the franchise. I just didn’t have the interest at the time, and i don’t like to pay $60 for something that will be worth less than ⅓ of that price in three months. I paid $20 for my copy, obtained in a back alley with secret handshakes and code words. I was still the Cheap-Ass Gaming Garbage Man.

I did the thing, put it in the Xbox One, swore at the ungodly download size, coupled with the files on disc. I was like, “Sure, COD, just take up a huge amount of my hard drive and act like you’re going to be the only game I play.” Fucking rude.

Lets go at this three-way in three ways, shall we?

It all began, one sunny Summer day.

Multiplayer: The only reason I bought this game. The juicy, killtacular, bulletfest that is Call of Duty Multiplayer. I needed it. After playing PUBG as my multiplayer go-to the past few months, my skills with the break-neck action were a bit dulled. It took a few rounds to get back in the swing of it.

I played quite a bit of Infinite Warfare multiplayer, so there is some comparison in terms of aiming, and movement speeds. It does lack the wall-running and boost-jump that irked many COD players, starting all the way back in Advanced Warfare.

So by “putting boots on the ground”, COD kept the players to the same system they had gotten used to in the Modern Warfare trilogy. I think it was a good move to bring players back into the fold, but it feels like a step back after the progression the series had made in multiplayer movements. I was waiting for the next one to have jetpacks and complete aerial combat, no ground.

But they went true old-school here. Well.. except maybe for the weaponry, but, to be fair, the weapons of the era needed hot pink paint jobs and options, options, options! If there is one tradition that this game continues, it is that of overly-saturated character customization.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I like that they’ve added Divisions and Basic Training perks, along with great additions, such as dragon’s breath shotgun shells, but it still feels like they went almost too pleasing for the multiplayer. There needs to be more innovative. Something that makes me want to keep playing and gain rank, other than a new scarf or flower on the side of my shotgun.

But the action is taunt and the gunfights are rapid, brutal, and require constant strategizing. You can’t just charge out there like a moron, well I mean you could, but that’s not how you play this game. If you do something stupid like that, have the right weapon to charge. Shit, that random player with the shovel, hacking people down, he knows how to play that weapon.

Think about it like that: Play your weapon, not the other players.

The maps are always one of the highlights of the series, and COD: WWII does not disappoint. Whether it’s storming beaches, or sniping from the second floor of an Italian cottage, you will feel like you were next to your grandfather, causing him great shame at what his lineage has become: A fat, middle-aged man playing video games for days on end.

So proud.

How do you eat like that?

Zombies: In what, to me, is probably the least interesting aspect of the Call of Duty franchise is another case of giving the whiny fans everything they want. They just straight up call it Nazi Zombies for this iteration.

You want zombies? How about behemoth monsters created from dozens of zombies, all writhing and screaming in pain as you unload magazine after magazine of bullets into it, various other zombies, and a motherfucking blimp.

I still have no idea how to complete all the steps required to progress the mission on the first map, The Final Reich, all I know is that the final boss was interesting and the reward of a zombie helmet proved that I had completed it.

It’s a good thing I have friends that have been playing this shit since it came out, back in November.
It’s fun and can get a hairy at times, what with hundreds of the chompers trying to eat your fucking face off. But with a good party of four, it is a really good time, full of singing about blowing their motherfucking heads off, what we do in PUBG, and even a song about the Tesla gun.

The action continues and with all the variations of guns, power-ups, cheezy lines of dialogue, and good ‘ol Nazi tropes thrown everywhere, I really can’t complain about this version of the Call of Duty Zombie mode.

Good times. Way more fun than I thought it would be, but I think that’s mostly because of the group I played with.

"Hey, let me see that picture of your sister again!"

Single-Player: I played the first level. It seems fun, but I have come to expect about the same from the series at this point. We’re never going to see another “No Russian” mission in the franchise, and after Infinite Warfare’s intuitive yet underwhelming single-player campaign, it seems we are weeing the setting the sun of the single-player COD campaigns.

I think that’s about where most people are with the franchise at this point. When it was announced that the upcoming Black Ops 4 would not include a traditional single-player campaign, no tears were shed. The only ones I heard were from people who bag on the series, so fuck them anyways.

Without the ability for a friend to play along, and without any real reason to play, story-wise (We already know who wins) The single-player gets a pass from me, and will not affect the final score. Maybe someday I’ll come back and play it, but I really doubt it at this point.

Score: 4 out of 5. Still dependable, still active, still fun. I thoroughly enjoyed the multiplayer, as I usually do, and Nazi Zombies is fun with friends. It’s still cool to be able to get the crew together and pop off a few domes.

While the single-player is drifting further from being relative, the other two modes flex their muscles in this COD. Sure, you can play other multiplayer shooters, but I can guarantee none of them will have the depth or polish of COD: WWII.

Call of Duty: WWII is just COD 2017, something to keep us playing until COD 2018: Black Ops 4, A.K.A. Call of Duty: We’re Sorry. If you enjoy FPS multiplayer or killing zombies, pick it up on the cheap.

This was the Cheap-Ass Gaming Garbage Man. Catch ya in the next round.