Communicating our needs and wants to another is truly difficult, especially if the other is a different sex or from another culture. I remember learning about one aspect of this difference years ago when I read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Like when my wife starts talking about an issue she had with someone during her day, my first reaction is to offer a solution, because men fix things. But all she wants is a sympathetic ear, because that's what women do. Throw in another culture, and I can see where your struggle arises. I wish I could offer a solution (that male response again) but you do have my sympathetic ear ;-)
Thanks;) I’ve never read that book before. I’ve always wondered whether it was actually worth reading or not. I think communication styles also play a big factor in how satisfied we our with the communication that we have with others. When our styles are drastically different, it often feels like even if we are trying to communicate, we aren’t being heard or understood. That’s frustrating. I’ve been bothered by a few things quite a bit recently.
One is my children’s increasing lack of willingness to communicate with me in English. Another is the feeling that no matter what I do, my wife never seems to be satisfied. Still another is the fact that I’m the sole bread winner in the family and no matter how hard I work and how much money I bring home, the only thing I seem to hear is we don’t have any money. On top of that, there’s the event that I mentioned in another comment. It’s all been piling up and is starting to really crush me. Somehow this past vacation really brought everything to a head.
That’s why, for now, I just want to get settled again. That way I can begin to tackle each of these issues. There are things I can be doing about each of them that I haven’t been.
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!
That’s a lot to deal with, but you have coped so far. Perhaps you can reflect on what’s been helpful to this point and continue to use that strategy as you look for new ways to tackle each of these issues. You have my support.
Funny. I was thinking about approaching it from the opposite angle and writing about what I’m not happy with/what bothers me in my life right now and then think about how I can eliminate it, change the environment/atmosphere, or intervene in a positive manner rather than a negative manner (attitude, reactions, thoughts, etc) to prevent the results I’m not happy with from happening.
I like the idea that we can’t change other people, we can only change ourselves and the way we respond to or engage with people and situations. I feel like I can find ways to eliminate the things that are bothering me by contributing to the various situations in a more positive and proactive way. Kind of like this exercise, though, I have to build enough energy and motivation to take the plunge and get started, then find small steps to keep me going. It’s on my mind, so I think I’m almost ready to begin.
Have you read Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living? Or his more business-minded How to Win Friends and Influence People?
My dad's friend - a person I consider one of my mentors - gave me both when I asked him for advice on getting into real estate. The books have nothing to do with real estate, just life and people and mindframe. You have to read both, but especially How to Stop Worrying. It's positive and practical advice. Not sure where you can get it in Japan.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Stop_Worrying_and_Start_Living
I’ve never read either of them. The How to win friends book I’ve heard of but never paid much attention to. I assumed it was just another best seller that didn’t really have a lot of meat in it.
The other book I’ve never heard of before. I’ll check it out. I’m sure I can order it on Amazon.
If you do I'd love to hear your thoughts!
I’ll let you know for sure.