Day 1: creating new habits

Willpower, I have read, comes with the entrenchment of better habits. And if these habits are not made, well, habitual, then I am destined for a life of chaos and under-achievement. Worse, I could become like a member of Stanley's Rear Column, engaging in disgusting acts of depravity and cruelty because no longer under command and control.

Today I tried to revitalise these dormant better habits. First, no gluttony and no sugar. Instead, scrambled eggs, a nut bar and ratatouille with cauliflower mash. That should have brought me to at least two servings of veg for the day (although five is the goal). This meant the exercise of some restraint in my expenditure on food. My bill at Tasha's was thus less than R120.00 - although I owed money for a previous meal and then bought snacks for myself at Spar and Woolworths (the cauliflower and some fruit).

And then a not-so-small extravagance: face threading and lash tinting. I consider this the equivalent of Stanley shaving every day. If I quit caring about how I look and lapse into slovenliness (like wearing clothing that has split and torn) then I too may slip into a personal heart of darkness (or that's the excuse). Grand total of expenses for the day: R866.00.

In relation to my living circumstances I took the recycling to the depot and watered the garden. The day's account is thus one of virtue. It is even of effort. I wrote the first draft of an article on the rape at Dros. I had not realised that the victim was black and the perpetrator white and when I did so, it reinforced something else I'd noticed - that we only speak of white men's violence when it is in relation to children. Why is this so? I have no answer to that as yet.

Here endeth day 1 then. Tomorrow I travel to Kimberley, to resist all the disruptions and temptations that hotels and workshops offer.