HI thanks for this post. I cant explain why but it spoke to me, it spoke to similar sort of dilemma , or less so about dilema and more about letting the grip of the thought go , the thought that had been about lets do x y z , of what I did before or yesterday or even questioning why I was doing that anyway , I mean why am I doing anything in particular, outside of Maslows hierarchy of needs ,which thankfully when I think about it, have been well covered for many years . I mean I eat drink sleep and have a warm space with things that light me up , with little pleasures , those thoughts you keep to yourself coz no one else will connect with it and that dosnt matter so much either . So why do we do any of these things. and maybe when we move ourselves away from it , from that slight fixation something magical happens, and sometimes it doesn't , as we cannot expect to know what will manifest next and then after that ..... but then I'm able to remind myself its not the thing, its how I'm feeling right now , it feels nice, like joy, pleasure ,satisfaction , and not much of what I do outside of my day job is planned , even then its more and more about inspired action. and then my ego voice gets annoyed and the I laughs at it, its trying to resume control - and I laugh as I used to get myself into knots about it.. but not today anyway lol...today is just one stream of consciousness after another ...... thanks again