Dear Diary: I Spent The Whole Night Trying To Breathe

In a few hours at least I will be getting some relief with my breathing because the whole night has been so terrible that I spent it trying to sleep with breathlessness. It is so horrendous that I am living like this enduring this kind of misery.

I am just still hoping that everything will get a turnaround with my situation. I feel like my body will be giving up and suffer consequences arising from this kind of situation. I don't know if I would like to still hope to achieve my goals in life because it is really like madness to press on because I am suffering.

I think I am just a fool trying to wanting to live while it seems to be there is no point in living because all of my basic humanity has been taken from me. Almost all my basic functions are affected as now I am also enduring my ringing ear which is in itself another torturous condition that I also have to endure, what more?

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It Is Just A Living Hell

I hope that God would help me still and show his mercy on my decrepit body that I am maddeningly trying to uplift which seems to be hopeless with the kind of mediocre medical treatment that I am getting in this country that I am living into. It is just sad why do we have a different standard of treatment than in western countries.

Anyway I will soon get a relief and I know that it is just temporary but at least I will get saved nonetheless and I just sad that my reality is just like a living hell full of sorrows and hardship which should never be. I just needed more prayers to endure all this.