Dear Diary: My Appetite Is In The Drain Right Now

This evening I just had a few tablespoons of rice plus a bit of fried pork, maybe a few thimbleful of meat in that couple of pieces of leftover fried pork that I had from my dialysis meal last Friday and then about two inches of spring rolls that really doesn't taste good.

I washed it all up with my energy drink. That is just about it and I feel that I haven't obviously eaten well today except this morning where I drank my meal replacement milk.

I feel sad about my appetite issue because it seems to be a dying fight so unless I would start something drastic about it all these issues about my health will remain giving me a degree of misery. I really do not know what to do so I just needed to toughen up and be more patient that someday I would get all these resolved.

What I want to happen is to have my parathyroid removed (not all) so that I will never have to deal with the nauseating -appetite-busting hyperparathyroid medication that I am taking everyday.

My doctor actually wanted me to take it three times a day but my feeble body will not tolerate it as well as financially because of the prohibitive cost of that drug. Until that is all done I will have to endure all these hardships.

Also, a peritoneal dialysis may solve my appetite issue because it is a continuous cleaning system of the blood that may reset my appetite every dialysis session just like from a hemodialysis type. But I have to make sure that I am financially sound about it because it has a lot of complicated factors that still makes me get a second thought of considering it plus my mother doesn't approve it as well which is also a problem too.

Now is a waiting game, my body will most probably give up before I would make my plans a reality but I have to stay strong and focus on my goals and hope God would not leave me in this struggle in m y life.